Taking control of sex entails training your husband that sex is for your benefit, not his. It is the case that he is no longer to be allowed to enjoy sex. It is simply that when sex is allowed, the entire focus is on pleasing the wife. The rule you want to establish is that sex happens when you want it to happen. You do not have sex simply because your husband is aroused. You have sex when you are in the mood for it.
Most of the time, you will want to turn that energy toward his chores. Only when you are in the mood and you are satisfied with his behavior should you accept his proposition. He may become frustrated at your frequent denials but if you are firm and you occasionally say “yes” then eventually he will grow accustomed to the arrangement.
Additionally, you can accept his proposal for your own sexual satisfaction but still withhold his own release until another time. For example, you might respond to his proposal by directing him to give you oral and ending the encounter with that. Thank him for giving you an orgasm and encourage him to ask again later.
Now that you are in control of sex you are ready to begin the techniques that will transform your marriage and make you the Queen of your household. Everything so far has been mere preparation. Preparing you to take charge of your marriage. Preparing your husband for your ascendancy.
Getting your husband to embrace a role as househusband may be easy or hard depending on your situation and his background. It is truly blissful to return home from a hard day at work to a home cooked meal, a well ordered house, and a loving and obedient husband.
f his friends are docile and obey their wives, it will be that much easier for him to do so. Men love being “one of the guys”; make sure your man is “one of the guys” cleaning house, doing ironing and obeying his wife.
We don’t advise that men be allowed outside activities unless supervised, at least in the early stages of an FLR. If such a “men’s night out” is allowed, women should be aware of who will be involved, what they will be doing and when their man will return. Men’s night out should be planned with the wives of other attendees, and the women should insist on a full account of what took place when their men return.
Of course, men’s night out (or “boys’ night out”) should be an infrequent occurrence. Such events are a burden to women and keep men from doing things they should be doing.
A number of women we’ve spoken with forbid their husbands going out for extended periods or on weekend trips. If men want to go on an overnight trip, why not consider having at least one or two of the wives accompany them to keep tabs on things; men do need a chaperone! If they don’t want women along, then you’ve got to wonder what they were planning. Permission to take the trip—DENIED!
Dennis loves being invited to “Girl’s Night Out,” a weekly event that includes mother, four of our women friends, and the occasional progressive gentlemen or two. It is an evening for women, so we call the shots as to what we’re going to do and if we want men along. We are under no obligation. Guys being invited to Girl’s Night Out is a real privilege that’s earned, not lightly granted.
The couple’s sex life is entirely in her control. She may go to the extent of saying that I want you to massage my body for an hour. Watch the clock. Following this, we will go to sleep. You will not have an orgasm for tonight. The needs of the woman belong to high priority. The husband’s needs are secondary.
Interestingly, while doing chores is a behavior that you are encouraging through positive reinforcement, it may also happen that certain aspects of doing the chores will become secondary reinforcers themselves. For example, as you train your husband to wash the dishes, and reinforce that behavior, your husband may come to indirectly associate the experience of washing the dishes with sex. The more consistent and powerful the reinforcement, the more likely and strongly will be that association. Your husband may actually become aroused by washing the dishes. Thus, over time, washing the dishes may become its own reward.
I often find I have become sexually excited at the darn-est times. I may be ironing her clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, preparing dinner, washing dishes — you name it. And I realize I have an erection. I get excited every time I think about her. I get excited sometimes when I am doing the most mundane of chores for her. She may not even be at home and yet I have become excited just knowing I am serving her in some fashion.
Similarly, you can create an association between general submissive behavior and sex so that he becomes aroused by his own expressions of submission to you.