“She’s so pleased by the benefits of this that she wonders why allow any ejaculation, ever?”

It is true that the longer the male goes without ejaculation, the more adoring and devoted he becomes to his wife. Each marriage is different and you will have to experiment as to how long your wife wants to keep you chaste. It is true that some women never allow their husbands to ejaculate and keep them in permanent chastity cages. These men are focused exclusively on the wife’s pleasure and retain a high level of devotion and servitude that never wanes.

“She also took to the separate bed idea given my constant night erections”

I’m so sorry you lost your bed.  I hope you’re getting proper rest.  Personally, separate beds works best for us for the reason your wife has stated.  Erections are for women that are awake.  I hope you can find room for a proper bed somewhere so you can have your own space.  There are definitely benefits to separate beds.  We use his bed for sex, and it keeps my sheets clean.

“Worried I’m becoming more of a maid than a husband (yes, apron and all)”

I can see this being a common concern as men discover their true nature through retention.  And when your surrounded by free ejaculating men that haven’t been trained to retain, you will probably notice differences between you and other men.  Being a maid and husband aren’t exclusively separate roles, IMO.  If your wife is happy expanding your role as husband to include being the maid, that’s up to her.  I think you just need her assurance that she still respects you as a man.