There are certain decisions that I do own and his input matters very little.  The first is chores and house rules.  I decide what chores he will do and how they are to be done.  He does the bulk of the chores in our house and he does them to my expectations.  I decide the rules of the house, which are things like how he serves me, whether or not he can go out with friends, what behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable, etc.  If rules are disobeyed or chores are neglected, he is punished.  The second area of decision making that I have complete control over is sex/bedroom activity. I control his orgasms and decide when and how he can have them. I control when we have sex, foreplay, fun time, etc.  If I am in the mood for foreplay or sex, then we have it.  If I want an orgasm, I get an orgasm. If he is in the mood for sexual activity, he can try to initiate it, but I will determine whether or not it will happen and if it does happen it is on my terms.  That is just the way it is in my relationship and this approach is common in most FLRs. It is one of the perks for the woman. Call it our reward for taking on the leadership role.

While it is a perk for women, I find that it is also what submissive men want.  They desire a woman to have this control over them.  They enjoy being held accountable for their responsibilities.  There are nights where Thomas is busy doing chores from the time he comes home from work, until the time he goes to bed.  Some nights he is hustling to get them done so he can get to bed at a decent hour.  He has told me that he enjoys this as he feels like he is truly serving me almost like a slave and he enjoys that. He also indicated that he enjoys doing these things for me so that I feel like a Goddess or Princess. It gives him a sense of fulfillment. I can’t argue with that.

Another difference in a FLR compared to a traditional relationship is how we discuss things when making a decision.  Usually he is naked and kneeling before me.  Most of the time this occurs at night before bed. This just happens to be the time when we are together the most and part of our nightly routine is having him kneel before me.  However, there are also times where I want to discuss something with him and I will call him up to the room and have him kneel naked before me for the discussion.  I find that this position sets the tone of my authority over him and reduces the potential for an argumentative situation.  It also ensures his attention is focused 100% on the discussion.  His opinions are heard and taken into consideration but I am the ultimate decision maker.  I highly recommend incorporating the kneeling position into your normal routine for the reasons stated above.  Additionally, most submissive guys actually prefer this position when talking to their wife.  Thomas has admitted that he enjoys kneeling for me when we discuss things.  It may seem awkward to you at first, but trust me, he will love it and it does not take long before it feels normal to you.

Some of our discussions around decisions may also occur as part of our discipline sessions, while he is across my lap.  This is another position I enjoy because it reinforces my authority over him and he is smart enough to not argue when he is vulnerable and I have a spanking instrument in my hand :).  I want to point out that these positions are not meant to intimidate him into a decision but rather to ensure there is proper attitude and respect during discussion so that there is not arguing.  This technique has been extremely effective in our marriage.

I’ve discussed what I feel are the key differences in decision making in a FLR compared to a relationship.  These include:

1. The female has the final say on all decisions
2. The male is often kneeling before the female during discussions related to decisions
3. The female decides on chores/house rules and sex/bedroom play.