I have a question for the submissive men who are in long term chastity.

What is the thought process that goes through your mind as the days, weeks etc of chastity continue?

Is it a case of damn it I’ll just do as she wants and eventually she’ll release me- hopefully sooner rather than later? Or do you think to yourself I can be pretty damn selfish sometimes I really need to be thinking about her needs more?

In the beginning, it was simply a kinky, erotic, and fun way to control my masturbation habit and we both enjoyed the play, and the sexual build up. After many years, and one year spent in continual chastity locked in a Lori’s #5, we have discovered, it is extremely powerful and worked for us. Now with aging, and the issues of practicality, we have an even stronger love and appreciation for the others needs and desires.

You should already have a rule that he can’t masturbate, so once you catch him, you’re perfectly inline to confront him, and then punish him with a cock cage. Tell him, “Since you can’t control yourself, I’m going to do it for you”. Once he’s in one, you should control the key by at the very least hiding it.

A great idea though is to keep the cage’s key on you at all times as a necklace. The symbol of your dominance, right there, dangling in his face, is a great way to taunt him. If anyone asks about it, you can say your hubby gave it to you as the “key to his heart”. Let him out for a cum every 3-4 weeks if he’s been good and 5-7 weeks if he’s been bad.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It’s the goal for him to do the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and you will find that it will happen. As he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release, he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier.

24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn’t have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess must have absolute control of.

There are features of chastity devices, which introduce elements of control beyond mental discipline. For one, most chastity devices physically limit the amount of erection a man is able to have.

Men have described the sensation of not being able to get fully erect as “Maddening”…I like to hear that word! Some devices prevent any touching of the penis or scrotum at all. Most devices force the man to urinate sitting down, again limiting their freedom outside the D/s relationship.

Men also have mentioned the ‘continual reminder’ effect of having the device facilitate their partner’s physical controlling of their genitals, even when they’re apart.

You start by simply telling him that he is not allowed to have an orgasm unless you direct him to, and with your permission. You can make the rules. If he is the nagging type, tell him that if he bugs you about it, you will put it off even longer. Make sure you continue to have him pleasure you, however. And make sure you let it be known that you are enjoying having this pleasure, and that he cannot have his own until you say he can.