William took me to my favorite restaurant Le Feu Sacre. It was a wonderful lunch and William, who is several weeks into a period of chastity, was the perfect doting and attentive husband. At one point a drop dead gorgeous young woman walked past our table on her way to the ladies room. She was wearing a beautiful short dress and high heels and I can only wish my legs still looked as good as hers.

William, hoping to soon have a chance at choosing a slip from the treats and favors grab basket, never allowed his eyes to leave mine for even a second. He was the perfect attentive husband. We even had a very cute waitress and hostess. Poor William was surrounded by beautiful young women but he knew better than to even try to sneak a peek.

I feel so special at these times. I can tell that other women notice how different he is from most other men and are impressed with how attentive he is to me. I imagine that they are often thinking, “Wow what does that woman have, what is her secret that her husband adores her so completely?”

William took my purchase to the counter and handed me my purse. I reached inside and pulled out his wallet and handed it to him. He pulled out his credit card and paid for my shoes. When he was done he handed his wallet back to me and I slipped it in my purse and then handed my purse to him to carry. When the clerk had placed my shoe purchase in a bag William took it from her. I never have to carry or even handle a shopping bag when I have William shopping with me. We walked out with William carrying my purse and shopping bag. The store clerk watched us walk out and was smiling. She seemed very impressed with what a doting husband I have.

I told them that the dating website was for dominant women who are looking for men interested in submitting to the woman in a relationship. I told them that some men are looking to be a house husband to a very successful woman. They were very curious and asked lots of questions. I told them that we had met on this dating site for dominant women and submissive men and that we both lived in different directions, each of us 100 miles from there. I told her we had agreed to meet in the middle for the weekend and get to know each other to see if there was potential for a relationship.

We had a very nice dinner and the waitress was so sweet and attentive to us. When William excused himself to go to the bathroom the hostess stopped by my table on her way back from seating another party. She said, “It seems like things are going well. You guys seem to be enjoying each other’s company and are laughing a lot. What do you think of him?”

I said, “He seems like a fairly good prospect. We seem to have some interests in common and he hasn’t said anything that would put me off, right off the bat. He claims he knows how to cook and he described a number of house cleaning duties he performed in his last marriage. He seems sincere about wanting to be a submitted husband in a female led marriage. But it will take some time to get to know him enough to know if we have the potential for a close emotional connection. Then I would need to decide if I want to invite him to visit me for some time in my home to see how we get along and to see what kind of house husband he would truly make.

The waitress said that she was dating a guy who was a medical tech at the hospital and, if her career went where she thought it might, she would very likely earn more money than her boyfriend. She said that she found the whole concept of what we were doing very exciting. She said that she could really see herself having a house husband and thought that it made a lot of sense for the woman to be the head of the household, particularly if she was the primary breadwinner. She was so sweet and it felt sort of neat to be mentoring this young woman.

The hostess said, “Well, I guess you’ll know a lot more about him by tomorrow.” I told her that we had separate rooms. She seemed surprised and said, “Oh, you’re not sharing a room this weekend?” I told her, ” when establishing a female-led relationship, it is important to set the proper tone with the man from the very beginning. He needs to understand that he must earn each step of advancement into the relationship.” She just said, “That makes sense, I guess.”

When the waitress brought the bill she handed it to me. I reviewed it, added a generous tip, and handed the bill to William to pay. The waitress and the hostess both seemed excited about our arrangement and practically gushed over their service to us all evening.

The way the waitress and hostess treated us all evening seemed to turn William on. We went back to the room and made out for a while. William was in chastity and has not had a release for sometime. I reviewed William’s behavior for that day as he wiped down my shoes and hung up my dress. I listed a few areas in which I wanted him to improve the next day and I informed him that he had earned a chance to draw a slip from the treats and favors basket. I reached in my makeup case and got the envelope with the choices I had selected for him that evening and dump them into the ice bucket in the room. William was very excited thinking that he might choose a chance to come out of his chastity device and have an orgasm. He ended up drawing a slip awarding him time to worship my feet. William always likes to start foot worship sessions with my shoes on so he got my shoes back out of the closet and slipped them on my feet. I read my book while he kissed my shoes and then kissed and massaged my feet. I teased him a little by jabbing my toes into his balls and clamping my feet around his penis cage like I do when I let him come between my feet. He got very turned on and seemed like he could have come through his chastity cage if I kept it up.

When we got home I added some slips to Williams grab basket that would allow him various forms of release. He had been an especially good boy and obedient husband all day. Since it was near the end of the weekend I knew he would have the following work week during which I could work to get his level of horniness back to where I like it.

William ended up drawing a slip for a chance to masturbate while worshipping my bum. This is always one of his favorites and he got very excited. Before I allowed him to receive his reward, I had him give me a backrub and then kneel at my feet and make a pledge that he would work to maintain his same level of attentiveness and obedience over the next week.

It had been quite a few weeks since Williams last orgasm and he came pretty quickly and quite strongly. Afterward he did that thing I love so much. He snuggled with me like a little boy while he trembled and whimpered for several minutes like a young girl having her first orgasm.

One of William’s favorite things to do each evening is to sit at the end of the couch, when I am lounging there, reading or watching TV, and have me put my feet in his lap so he can massage and kiss them. He loves being able to take off my socks and being allowed to kiss my bare feet. One of his greatest Joys is to follow me to the couch when I arrive home from work and slip off my heels and massage and kiss my stocking covered feet. He loves kneeling at my feet and giving me a pedicure which I allow him as a reward, usually once a week, sometimes more frequently in the summertime when it is sandal season. And of course he absolutely loves when I masturbate him with my feet.

In between orgasms I often restrict access to my feet to encourage a better attitude from William. Just as he is generally grounded from touching himself,  I sometimes ground him from being allowed to touch my feet.

When he is grounded from contact with my feet, I don’t let him massage or kiss my feet like he likes to do. If he tries to touch my feet I will curl them up underneath me so that he can’t and will say cooly, “I don’t feel like having my feet touched right now, thank you”. When we settle in to watch TV in the evening, I may sit in a separate chair rather than on the couch with him.

When he demonstrates better behavior and becomes more obedient, I will call him to my side in the evening, kiss him on the temple sweetly and whisper in his ear, “You’ve been a very good husband today. You’ve been a delight to be with”. Then I will settle in to recline on the couch and invite him to sit at the end while I read or watch TV. I will put my feet in his lap and let him massage them and kiss them. If  he has particularly pleased me that day, I will rub on his crotch with my feet. He likes it when I roll his chastity cage around with my toes and the balls of my feet and when I poke his balls gently with my toes. I use these things as his reward for maintaining a better attitude and being more obedient through the day. He particularly likes when I let him slip off my socks and let him kiss my toes before I have him put my socks back on so my feet don’t get cold.

One time he embarrassed me in front of some friends by telling an embarrassing joke about me. In addition to being kept in chastity with no release or favors, I grounded him from any contact with my feet for three weeks and I went to get a professional mani pedi each Saturday.

He was so sad and mad at himself for what he had done that, while I was out having my mani pedi on the third Saturday, he cleaned and polished each and every one of my shoes and boots, including pulling the shoe laces out of all of my athletic shoes and scrubbing them clean. When I came home he had them all set out in neat rows to show me. All of my dress shoes were cleaned, polished and shined and all of my suede shoes and boots were spot cleaned and brushed. The bottoms of all of my shoes were cleaned and polished.

When I asked him why he had done it, he told me that he missed touching my feet and doing my pedicure so much that he needed some way to feel connected to my feet.  He also wanted to get back in my good favor and earn his foot worship privileges.

Sometimes I make him beg to worship my feet, or the other parts of my body he likes to worship, like my bum, my vagina, or my breasts. This makes these privileges more special and more sought-after by him. It reminds him that they are privileges he must earn and reminds him of his place as an obedient and submitted husband.

I particularly made him beg this time. I had him kneel at my feet and had him apologize for embarrassing me in public and then had him say a pledge of obedience and respect. He said, “You are a goddess among women. One of the greatest honors and pleasures I know is being allowed to kneel before you and kiss and worship your feet. I am sorry that I embarrassed you in front of our friends and promise never to do that again. May I be granted the honor of kissing your feet?”

I could still see some sadness in his face as he kissed each one of the freshly manicured nails on each of my toes. I also saw a bit of relief that he had begun to earn his foot worship privileges back again. It turned me on to have him kiss my feet. I pulled his head up gently by his hair and pulled his face toward my thighs as I sat on the edge of the bed. He started to bury his face between my legs but I cautioned him to wait. He begged some more and said, “Please, may I worship at your temple and taste your nectar”. I made him wait for a few seconds before I said, “Yes you may”. I had a very nice orgasm.

Later, as a reward, I let him pick out one pair of my shoes for me to wear. He picked out a pair of spaghetti strap high-heel sandals. After he slipped the shoes on my feet and buckled the ankle strap, we sat on the couch to watch a movie and I rewarded his good behavior by letting him sit  at my feet at the end of the couch as I poked his chastity cage with my toes and jabbed my heels into his balls. He appeared to be in heaven.

I have come to really appreciate how having a man in chastity can recondition his brain toward greater attentiveness toward his wife and greater obedience to her authority. A chastity device provides a man with almost immediate biofeedback on the current state of his arousal.

He says that when he was first placed in chastity, whenever he became aroused, he immediately began to fantasize about the woman he was looking at. He would think about what it would feel like to run home later and masturbate fantasizing about her. Then, almost immediately, he’d feel the pressure of his penis straining in it’s little cage and he’d be reminded that, not only would he not be able to do anything with this woman, but he can’t even go home to masturbate and fantasize about her later.

William says this starts him on a thought process that goes like, “Oh, that’s right, I’m locked in chastity, I wouldn’t be able to do anything with this woman even if I had the chance. I can’t even masturbate thinking about her or even touch my own penis. I can’t masturbate or even touch it without my wife’s permission. Man I’m horny. I can’t wait till the next time she allows me to come. I wonder when that’ll be. I have to be really good all this week so maybe she’ll let me come this Sunday. I wonder where she is right now. I wonder what she’s doing. I wonder if she has the key with her. Maybe she’ll let me out tonight if I’m really good and impress her. I hope she lets me out tonight. I can’t wait until she gets home and I get to see her again. Maybe, if I really please her tonight, she’ll let me out of my device for a little while so I can touch it.

If you were to ask my husband, he would say his life is much more edifying and productive with a strong resolute female controlling his ejaculation schedule.

I think “Helicoptering the Dog” is a good analogy for setting the terms of entry to your vagina and a good metaphor for the kind of resolve it can take to keep a man from releasing in the throws of passion. Remember, I said “metaphor.” It’s just a stern verbal reminder (and maybe a slap with it) of who’s in charge of the schedule, and it’s not him. He sometimes needs to be reminded of what his life now is, and the Terms of Entry need to be repeated periodically as he’s completely out of his mind with passion. Don’t forget he’s receiving the best sex he’s ever had, and he’ll be grateful for your resolve maybe a half hour after intercourse is over and his head is starting to clear, and when his ejaculation day does arrive, it will be the sweetest release he’s ever had.

I think you should restrain him so that you can really take your time beating him, and be confident that you are really in charge (he needs to feel that as well – and restraining him makes him feel completely in your power). A belt wrapped around and around his ankles is a good start. You need to pull extra hard as you are tightening it because when it settles back in it loosens, and as he wiggles around and kicks it loosens as well. You can also consider a second belt around his knees as well. This keeps his thighs together and prevents any chance of accidentally strapping his balls.

I personally like beating him until I see some bruising. Red is not even in question: he should be deep red. Beat him until you see him really sweating. There should also be tears in his eyes. It’s not that he cries exactly, it’s more like the pain is just so great that the tears leak out on their own.

For a proper beating, keep at it for at least thirty minutes, something around 300 strokes or so should get the message across.

You need to get him past the first 100 or so, after that he numbs up a bit and can take the strokes easier, but that is where the strokes that will cause him the deeper, longer lasting soreness will be doled out, so don’t skimp on these if you would like to see him in discomfort for the rest of the day, and maybe well into the next, which is fun.

Yes he will be a pitiful sight to behold, but he’ll be just fine from almost the moment you stop, with just the residual soreness. But a beating like this can be very cathartic for a subby male, and he will love you even more for doing it to him. Even the soreness will be a badge of honour for him, and something you can tease him about for days. He will not be injured even though his bum will look very beaten up.

I don’t like to just end a beating like this casually. I will put him against the wall, bare beaten bum showing, holding up a coin with his nose. If you beat him in the bedroom, then take him nude into the living room for this. The unfamiliar surroundings will add to his distress. Make sure to let him know that if he drops the coin, he will be beaten again. If he does drop it, you absolutely must carry through on the promise, and then start his timeout from the beginning again. Fifteen minutes can be a very long time to him, and is what I generally use for timeout.

After he is done, allow him to come out and make him crawl over and kiss your feet and thank you for beating him so severely. You may then take some pity on him, and perhaps rub some cream into his bottom. Despite the beating he is usually horny after I do this (especially if I let my hand stray when applying cream or lotion). I will allow him to jerk himself off while I watch so long as he swallows his mess afterwards.

Yes. All you subby boys are the same. The thought of such a beating makes you hard and makes you want to jerk off. But the reality of it limpens you quickly, and makes you very sorry you ever asked for spankings in the first place.

That is why a good beating is so effective. Some part of you wants it, so you submit to it, but then it really is punishment, and you will change your behaviour to avoid another one (for the next few weeks at least).

I also enjoy doling out the middle of the road spankings, because it solidifies who is in charge, who wears the pants in the family. But I don’t fool myself for one minute that it is punishment: it’s more like woman-on-top sex, and something he wants, and I am happy to give him things he wants when he is behaving well. It’s actually more reward than punishment for subby boys.

Until a subby feels a real honest to goodness punishment beating that he does not want to repeat, he is just topping from the bottom. The true test of his submissiveness is whether he will submit to a beating like this, and kiss your feet afterwards.

So, how is it your husband is enjoying these beatings he would never want to repeat, i.e., the kind of beatings he must endure to avoid the stigma of a person who “tops from the bottom”?

I mean, his bottom looks like it lost a gang fight. If that is not “past his limits,” what could those limits possibly be?

I really want to know this because it’s unclear whether your husband wants the types of restrained, gagged, severe beatings you’re giving him or not, and it seems breathtakingly cruel.

After the whipping he got on Thursday, L. has been exceptionally well-behaved – but, this being the weekend, he was put through his usual paces, which involves bringing me breakfast in bed wearing the summary attire (nothing from the waist down except for a short apron) , and having the list of his morning chores ‘printed’ on his derrière with the martinet. His performance of those domestic chores was pretty good, and he needed only a couple of reminders over the two days – one with a switch and the other with the kitchen spoon. Good boy!

What he does do to get me lathered up is try to be dominant in bed without permission. He knows asking something like “can we have sex?” will earn him a super hard beating followed by a long hard lesson in bending over and fucking! Ha Ha! I love it when he tries that! He gets no sex at all and has to remain in his tiny chastity tube 24/7/365.

My wife likes to have me wear bra panties garter belt and hose plus 4″ heels and a bib apron that ties behind my back and neck when I cook and serve her dinner.

I’ve mentioned having a ceremony where he would vow only to ejaculate when given permission by me.  But he really seems to be dragging his feet on this issue, so I decided to go ahead and make it easy on him and set the Terms of Entry to my vagina.  He may be uncertain about that kind of commitment, but I’m not.  And I feel certain that at this point in my life that I will not be in a relationship with a man that is not retaining and on an ejaculation schedule.  I think any woman that has tried this would feel the same way.

As a woman, I have the right to decide on the terms and conditions that I will participate in a relationship with a man, and the man of course has the right to choose a different path with a different woman.  But if my husband wants to enter my vagina, these are the terms that he must abide by:

• He must practice semen retention.
• He must abide by the ejaculation schedule I  set.
• He will submit to the agreed upon consequences for unauthorized ejaculation.

I don’t set these terms lightly, but the trial period is over.  There is no question our relationship is better in every respect under this system.  I’ll relate the experience of coming to this obvious realization that I have rights too. This is a two way street.

During one of our sessions where he’s half out of his mind and begging to take maybe a 30 day break from this which will certainly never happen, I thought what would Lady Elizabeth Bathory do?  The answer in my head was she would probably hang him upside down, cut his throat, drain his blood and bathe in it.  Okay, wrong person to ask.  Note to self, don’t ever ask Liz for advice.  So, in the throws of excruciating pleasure as he’s asking this, I slap him in the face and state firmly, “As long as your under this roof, this is your life.  You’ll be retaining with a schedule.  Don’t ask about it again.  Now, pump!”  I call that setting the Terms of Entry.  It’s been over a year.  He should be used to this by now, and he is,  but during the throws of passion, he can drift to being a little goal oriented toward ejaculation, and it helps to (if I can borrow a term form my college behaviorism days) helicopter the dog.  And I do this by periodically setting the terms of entry to remind him of the terms and conditions of being in a relationship with me especially when he starts yearning to be a free ejaculator again.  In the throws of passion with the crying and begging, he needs something to refocus him occasionally on what his primary task is.  And that’s to “pump” and hit that A-spot.  Setting the Terms of Entry help remind him why I allow him in there in the first place, and it’s not for him to ejaculate except for about once a quarter.  The rest of the time is about the pleasure of intercourse for both of us.

It’s up to the women to be strong and have resolve about the ejaculation schedule in the height of passion.  If not, spills will be inevitable.  Is this cruel?  When you set the Terms of Entry, pay attention to his penis that’s pulsing inside you.  Does it get even harder than it was before or seem like it gets softer?  I find the firmer and sterner I am setting the Terms of Entry on a regular basis the more he responds to it.  I only have to look at and feel his penis to know how he feels about things that he may be too ashamed to admit.

“She’s so pleased by the benefits of this that she wonders why allow any ejaculation, ever?”

It is true that the longer the male goes without ejaculation, the more adoring and devoted he becomes to his wife. Each marriage is different and you will have to experiment as to how long your wife wants to keep you chaste. It is true that some women never allow their husbands to ejaculate and keep them in permanent chastity cages. These men are focused exclusively on the wife’s pleasure and retain a high level of devotion and servitude that never wanes.

“She also took to the separate bed idea given my constant night erections”

I’m so sorry you lost your bed.  I hope you’re getting proper rest.  Personally, separate beds works best for us for the reason your wife has stated.  Erections are for women that are awake.  I hope you can find room for a proper bed somewhere so you can have your own space.  There are definitely benefits to separate beds.  We use his bed for sex, and it keeps my sheets clean.

“Worried I’m becoming more of a maid than a husband (yes, apron and all)”

I can see this being a common concern as men discover their true nature through retention.  And when your surrounded by free ejaculating men that haven’t been trained to retain, you will probably notice differences between you and other men.  Being a maid and husband aren’t exclusively separate roles, IMO.  If your wife is happy expanding your role as husband to include being the maid, that’s up to her.  I think you just need her assurance that she still respects you as a man.

Male behavior will improve dramatically when you intentionally remove his sexual satisfaction. His instincts will drive him to exhibit pleasing behavior and will make it much more difficult for him to do anything that goes against your wishes. A good rule of thumb is that it takes about a week to see the benefits of enforced chastity. You have to give him enough time to get completely sexually unsatisfied before you are in full control. For this to happen you are going to need a secure male chastity device.

Not allowing him to orgasm during sex with you, and doing away with his unsupervised masturbation by putting him in chastity will result in your man always being focused on you. He will not be able to escape his need to give you fulfillment of every want and desire.
A helpful way to think of this is to think of his sexual satisfaction as a vacation away from you. Every time the male achieves orgasm his focus will move somewhere else for about a week. During this time he will be “on vacation” and will not be serving you to the best of his ability. With that in mind, you should consider how many weeks per year you want his attention to be on his own selfish desires. As his boss, how many weeks of “vacation” should be granted.

One male orgasm per quarter translates to 4 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm every six months translates to 2 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm per year translates to 1 week of “vacation” per year.

As the one in power, decide many weeks of vacation would your best employee deserve per year? How many weeks are you willing to tolerate your man’s focus being on his selfish satisfaction, rather than you?

As for fairness. let him know at least in broad terms how many orgasms you think he deserves. As vacations go, there is no exact formula. Since you are the one in power, you get to decide when and where. Don’t allow him to complain or even request an orgasm. If he is “expecting” you to let him cum, either through sex or supervised masturbation, you can consider that nothing more than whining for attention. You are in every right to punish bad behavior.

Which brings us to the other half of behavior modification. Discipline. If you don’t like a certain way he is acting, you must exert your authority. Delay or modify his reward. And don’t allow him to complain when you modify the schedule or rarely cancel an orgasm.

In some instances, it is appropriate to use physical punishment, such as spanking. Application of some sort of chemical like Icy Hot to his balls, nipples or penis can be non-dangerous and memorably painful. A time out option is also appropriate. Find an out of the way place: a spare room, garage or basement to handcuff and gag him for a few hours. A hotel can serve as a great place to leave him while you go shop and get your money’s worth. A final form of punishment would be to make him endure something disgusting: hog tie him in the shower and shit on him. Anything that will be change his behaviour must be humiliating and uncomfortable enough that he will not “volunteer”. Anyway, it is more fun for you to trick him with his little boy desires and stupid “man brain”. Tell him you are going to tie and please. Once he is helpless, detail his mistakes and punish.

I am not the type of person that do things partially. So once I decided to “take over” my marriage, I warned my husband I will be taking over completely. It was take it or leave it for him, and he took it.

Complete Chastity

The length of the lockup is whatever you want it to be. In fact, it should always be in flux depending on your mood.

Had a crappy day at work? Stuck in traffic? Store ran out of the shoes you wanted?

Add another fucking day in chastity just because you want! You call the shots. This is your chastity marriage. You’re the boss! He should thank you for keeping him locked up and obedient.

Some wives keep their husbands locked up 24/7/365, with only a few minutes out for an anniversary or wife’s birthday. Even then, the husband is expected to show his devotion and never ask to be released.

No Stroking Without Permission

This one is also a non-negotiable rule in a chastity marriage: he is not allowed to touch his dick/balls without your permission!

Once the cage comes on, he is 100% owned by you. They’re not his cock and balls anymore. They’re your cock and balls!

You can do whatever you want to them. Maybe give him a little chastity tease and denial

He must always ask permission to touch himself…even if it’s to use the bathroom or to clean himself in the shower.

Always make him beg to stroke. It’s literally the funniest thing ever. He’ll be so desperate and horny. Begging always gets things wet downstairs!

All Orgasms Must Be Approved

Your slave will no longer be allowed to cum freely. All of his orgasms must be approved.

Really make him work for those orgasms too. Each one should be a highly sought after prize.

Make him take you to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine. Then a little shopping is in order. After that, come home and he’ll lick you to several orgasms. If he does a good job with all of that, then maybe…just maybe he’ll get a chance to cum!

Also, all unsanctioned orgasms MUST be dealt with swift punishment! If you catch him in the act, be sure to ruin his orgasm. Then lock him up for another week!

You Come First

In this wife led marriage, you come first. In fact, he doesn’t even have needs anymore. Your needs are his needs.

He should do whatever it takes to keep you happy. This means lots of foot rubs, sexy shopping trips, and nights out on the town.

He should completely derive pleasure from making you happy.

This should also be the case in the bedroom. He’s not allowed to cum. His pleasures will come from your mind blowing orgasms!

No Porn

No Porn at all. Nada!

The only woman he is allowed to look at is you! Don’t give him much to look at though.

Wear a nice sweater around the house. Don’t show him your perfect ass. Hell, even put on a pair of socks to hide your sexy toes from his eyes!

All of these tactics will drive him bat crazy!

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