If there is one thing that drains a marriage of passion, it’s a husband’s masturbation habit. He should be retaining semen for the benefit of the relationship and recognize that you have the right to be involved with what he’s doing in private as it directly effects you. To me this habit is close to adultery in what it does to a marriage.

One thing is paramount: masturbation must stop. You need to take an interest and monitor this. Your marriage must be built upon honesty. If he’ll lie to you about this, then there is a whole lot of work that needs to be done before you even consider this road. Just like alcoholics have a sponsor, you need to be his masturbation sponsor. He needs to be accountable to you, and call you if he has a problem. If there is an infraction, I expect him to call my secretary and tell her he as a problem at home that needs my attention, and she’ll give me a message. He should know there is an immediate consequence for that infraction, and I know how much he dreads making that call. We’ll address the issue when I get home and deliver the appropriate consequence

Also he needs to be honest with porn viewing. Porn viewing is a waste of his valuable time and energy. Energy that should be channeled into more productive avenues. And of course, it’s a powerful stimulus that leads to masturbation. You need to learn how to check his browsing history on his computer. That alone will let you see what’s going through his head. Let him know that he shouldn’t be ashamed then delete his history. My husband knows that he needs to confess any porn that he happens upon on the net. He knows he needs to leave the site immediately and lingering brings consequences. If he doesn’t come to me and confess immediately, and I find it in his browsing history, the consequences will be far more severe. Really, he’s been quite good about this. If he has been compliant, I’m fine with giving permission for 15 minutes of free computer time once in awhile.

I hadn’t realized how central this habit was to his life until we started this. With appropriate consequences, he has gone from 30-60 times a month to 0 times a month. He also has the desire to abstain as he knows I expect the Bellagio water show when he releases, and he doesn’t want to disappoint. In addition, his daily passion for me verifies that he’s not depleted. So when I allow him an ejaculation, I always comment on how impressed I am at his orgasmic expression demonstrating my appreciation for what he’s accomplished. This functions as a positive reinforcer for his abstention behavior and further builds compliance with the no masturbation rule in the household.

Sometimes we as women would rather not know, and just ignore this issue, but we do it at the peril of our relationship. Then we wonder why he’s not aroused by or interested in us. I told him at the beginning of this journey in a very endearing loving manner I was going to break him. And in less than a year he has come to accept that ejaculation at the end of intercourse is optional, rare, and not a given. Masturbation for him has now been completely abolished. He now realizes that ejaculation happens only through me. Eventually, masturbation will become just a distant memory. It really can’t be any other way. I know too much to just standby and let him damage our relationship.

Separate beds might have sufficed, but I decided that we should have separate bedrooms.  This arrangement has many advantages.  I initially put him in another room simply because his raging erections were constant throughout the night poking at me, hoping for attention; needless to say, I wasn’t getting any sleep.   Now his room is located conveniently next to the kitchen where many of his household duties lay.  I have the master bedroom, and it serves as a nice retreat with a spa room adjoining my bedroom.

My husband is the best massage therapist I’ve experienced. So, it’s nice to have a nice foot bath with foot massage in a reclining chair and then move to the massage table where he gives a deep massage with oil, and then moves to the hot and cold stone massage.  After it’s over I lie on the table and meditate with salt lamps and meditation music while he turns down my room.  I get in bed, and he arrives with a pitcher of ice cold water and pours my evening water glass, asks if there’s anything else, and if he can be excused.  I then read for a bit before going to sleep while he cleans up the spa room.

With semen retention, my husband nearly always yearns for me.  I have found that sleeping apart allows us both a better night’s rest.  A semen retaining male is just going to be more amorous, hoping, yearning for some attention.  I think retaining males need a whole separate room.  I like him to be completely detached from me at night.  Personally, I don’t think separate beds in one room would work for us.  I need to have that space.  I don’t need to hear him humping his pillow at 4 in the morning in his sleep.  If you don’t have a spare bedroom, and you don’t have children, he could set up a little bed in the laundry room or maybe a pantry, not the living room or kitchen.  Somewhere where he can have his own mostly private space would be more appropriate.

Aside from amorous retaining males, I think the whole concept of a marriage bed breeds contempt for each other.  If you’re not going to be having intercourse, a couple should not be in bed together.  The only time I’m in bed horizontal with my husband is when I need his services.  This is just sound behavioral science.  It’s very rare that we have sex in my bedroom as this is reserved for a special treat, and it keeps my sheets clean.   Intercourse always takes place in his room.   Now, with separate rooms, when I lay beside him, I’m a stimulus which causes arousal and sexual stimulation.

When I enter my husband’s room, and he removes my clothes, his heart starts racing in anticipation.  This is just one modification that we’ve made since he started retaining that has made the times when we do have contact even more passionate.  When I walk away after sex, he wants badly for me to stay longer.  That’s the way a man should feel about his wife.

 

The weather has cooled down again and I have changed my mind about letting elliot out of his chastity cage. Much as I enjoyed my “ride” the other day, the fact of the matter is that elliot’s little cock out of its cage is far too distracting for elliot.

As I have remarked to Mady my maid, men are very simple creatures. Creatures of impulse. While I am quite certain that elliot would never ejaculate without my permission, I noticed him touching himself several times when he was out of his cage and thought I was not looking. Plus, because it has been several weeks since he was last allowed to come, he kept having unwanted erections. Even when Mady was exercising him, his little cock would be hard as a rock.

The best thing about his chasitity cage is it desensitizes his cock. Not only does it physically prevent his unwanted (at least by me) erections, it also also isolates his little penis from the stimulations men find so distracting. That, in turn, means that elliot is more productive at work and far more attentive to my needs.

Being in his cage also makes him a much more obedient and considerate lover. Yesterday afternoon, after he had been locked up, I took him upstairs for a few minutes of oral pleasure after lunch. He knows I never want his cock in the afternoon but, that message is made all the more clear when he is in his cage. I have to admit I thoroughly enjoy being able to lie back on my bed, slip off my panties and have a lovely man expertly lick and suck my pussy until I send him to his corner while I finish. Over the years I have become quite private about my own orgasms. I don’t mind if he hears my sighs give way to moans; but I don’t want him watching. And, of course, unless I unlock him before he starts, he knows his only focus is to be my pleasure. Which he is very, very good at. All the more so because he knows that my pleasure is his most basic duty as my submissive husband.

Philosophically, I am inclined to think the world would be a much better place if men had their desires completely curbed and controlled by the women they love. There is no reason a man needs to come more than a few times a year. In fact, honestly, really well-controlled male sexuality is a hugely creative force. Since elliot has been caged he has been much more productive and has managed to keep me more than sexually satisfied. Plus, of course, he has been required to service Mady. Of course he is a bit crazed with sexual frustration; but that means he works harder and is much more obedient and docile.

I may yet let him out of his little cock cage in the heat of the summer. After all, I want him disciplined not uncomfortable; but, then again, I may not. What I may do is swap his current soft silicon cage for a metal chastity cage to match his ball stretcher. I suspect that would be cooler, if a little more obvious in swimming trunks.

So much to think about. But at least elliot’s little cock is out of the way.

 

I used to have a similar problem until it was finally corrected. The first thing my Mistress did was to make me masterbate in front of her until I came. Yelling at me for disrespecting her and disobeying her the entire time. When it became difficult for me to stay aroused from being yelled at she begin seriuosly teasing me about how pathetic I was. Trust me, that whole thing was awful, and I never want to have to do that again. She also forbid me from wearing my cage. She knew for me that was the worst punishment of all since I do love to be horny all the time, but also knew I needed to be ” reset” as I was obviously out of control. The second thing she did after that was to forbid me from serving her. No chores, none or the little things I love doing for her. For me this was even worse then the first thing. God i felt awful. After a week of that I was begging her for another chance to please lock me and to please allow me to serve her and do my chores again etc. Only after I gave her my word of honor I would not bother her while she was sleeping did she permit me these gifts. I rarely bother her now, and IMMEDIATELY stop when told to on those rare occuances. The only reason I still do from time to time is sometimes she allows me to help her to orgasm. But I can count the times that has happened on one hand.

My husband hates being locked in his belt, so keeping him in line is easy for me – if he disobeys me in any way I postpone his release and he has to endure at least another week of chastity.
Generally I like him touching me and servicing me with his tongue although at times it only increases his frustration. As far as touching himself, the belt doesn’t really allow it, again it just seems that is increases his frustration to arouse himself in any way, but that’s his problem. It’s good to be the boss!

Once we married, i did occasionally fuck Her, but i was still never good at it. i still always felt like a fraud, and She still never had an orgasm that way. She still depended upon my oral skills for satisfaction. So after a few years, she instead made me into Her full time, 24/7 slave in every way. Not long afterwards, She decided that i wouldn’t ever be allowed to fuck Her again, and would only be required to make Her cum orally. But within another few years, She decided that i just wasn’t enough of a real man to be allowed to have any manner of sexual contact with Her, nor with any Woman, ever again, for the rest of my life. And the only way i would ever be allowed to cum, for the rest of my life, was by jerking off.

Yet all else aside, my Mistress-Wife would probably never allow me to have another orgasm, for the rest of my life. But in reality, She finds if i get too horny, i’m just too distracted to serve Her with the full attention She requires. Yet, if i’m allowed to cum too much, i grow too apathetic to serve Her with the anxious enthusiasm She deserves. She therefore requires me to jerk off exactly twice a week – no more, and no less – at exactly the times She specifies.

In any case, the irony of my situation never escapes me. i continually marvel at it. i was hoping that marriage would be my savior; that i’d have A beautiful, sexy Wife who would want me to fuck Her whenever i felt like it, and i’d never have to jerk off again. But instead, by my marrying this gorgeous, sexy Woman, it has condemned me to being exactly the jerk-off i feared ending up as. Even more so, it has insured that i will never have any sort of sexual contact with A Woman, ever again, for the rest of my life; and i will spend the rest of my life as the complete and total jerk-off i always feared being.

I like the idea of being put in chastity by a woman that has no interest in sex but who likes the idea of preventing me from doing it, or who would require me to have permission to do it.

Hi im not a virgin but have been locked and unlocked for past year without sex iv been told by kh ill never have sex again from jan 1 ill be locked for a whole year i kinda miss sex but want to please my kh more so sex is a thing of the past for me

 

The short answer is that at the start of the year I decided Subbie was only allowed a handful of orgasms for the year. As you probably know I prefer him locked and frustrated and constantly craving my pussy.

For the first few months I was spacing his orgasms out evenly and everything was going to plan… but, at the end of May we snuck away to Bali for a dirty weekend retreat (he was unlocked, drunk and partying literally all weekend) and he used up all of his 2016 allocation in the one weekend !!

So now he’s locked until Christmas Eve !!

Celebrating Subbies longest ever lock up today. My previous best was 47 days and today is day 48 of his current cycle so I’m very proud of myself at the moment. There’s still a long way to go … Christmas Eve is still 140 days away but I’m confident that we’ll get there.

How did we celebrate?? Of course I had a massive screaming orgasm sitting in a chair with him on his knees worshipping my pussy. So, so, so good!!

Subbie woke up extra horny this morning and I woke up with his hands all over me. Only one thing for that I thought !! I told him “No” and sent him out of the bedroom to get me a coffee, “…but pass me my buzzy before you go !” ???

I wasn’t completely cruel when he got back with the coffee I did let him eat my sloppy pussy.

Coffee in bed and two morning orgasms for me… and a leaking cock locked up tight in his cage for him. Not a bad start to a Sunday.

Subbie got an edging with one of my small vibrators tonight to celebrate day 50.

I had already used his mouth earlier in the day to get myself off; so I said to him that “we’d just concentrate on him for awhile”. I had him hold the vibe against his cage while he sucked on my nipples. But … when he was about 75% of the way there I took it off him and used it on myself myself – I thought it was a nice touch for him to go from a nice build up to absolutely nothing while I received the pleasure !!

I edged myself with the small vibe but it wasn’t really enough to really (throw me) over the edge…so I took advantage of his tongue, my big vibe and a 10″ black dildo to finish me off (with a little squirt that he got to clean up).

After we got back from dinner and climbed into bed I pushed Subbie down between my legs for my first orgasm of the day. He had me at the Big O in no time at all !!

He was unlocked from earlier, and he was as hard as a rock so I told him just to slip into me …. and “fuck me as hard” as he could but “NO CUMMING !!” (his next orgasm is still at least 5 months away).

After a good 20 mins of edging him with my pussy I grabbed my vibrator, rolled over onto my stomach, and buzzed out my second orgasm while he ate my ass from behind (that was a very strong orgasm).

I fell asleep contented and relaxed… He fell asleep hard and frustrated.

Was told “…Pussy off limits to you tonight … but you can play with my nipples while I fall asleep”

I decided to cum tonight with just my vibrator while he snuggled into me … no touching allowed for him … just the pleasure of listening to my body (but I did suck on his finger while I climaxed)

I put him on his knees in the shower and gave him a big hosing down … and while his mouth was on my clit I enjoyed a pretty strong orgasm. Sometimes his tongue really hits the spot … especially after some piss fun

In 2016 I will be an unforgiving, strict and demanding Dominate and Keyholder. I will not tolerate ‘topping from the bottom’ and I will severely punish, without remorse, any and all behaviour which I deem as unacceptable.

“If you won’t too” isn’t going to be a part of my vocabulary.

I understand my submissive has sexual desires and ideas; but I will dismiss any suggestions and advances that don’t interest me with a firm NO. After I say NO there will be no further debate.

I will tease him, edge him, frustrate him and most importantly deny him to ensure his sexual arousal is maintained at its peak level.

Throughout the year I will enjoy limitless orgasms, affection, praise and pleasure while limiting his full orgasm tally to less than 9 for the full year.

Of course the Locksmith can change the rules of the game anytime she wants.

I will wear the regular cage 24/7 and keep to a healthy cleaning routine. The teasing, edging and denial will ensure I’m always at a sexual peak; however if Mistress requests 24 or 48 hours of “quiet time” I will change to the smaller cage without complaint or protest.

I will be grateful for any ruined or caged orgasms that are gifted to me in addition to the maximum of 9 full orgasms for the year.

 

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I have so much freedom to come and go, spend money while he stays at home cleaning house they tell me. In the beginning Becky felt this way. The only thing I can tell them is to enjoy your freedom, enjoy being a woman, and enjoy a way of life that your mother could never have imagined. In modern marriages with submissive men there are new rules. It is now the men who must ask for money or for permission to come and go.

The men want you to celebrate your freedom as mistress wives who rule them. And yes, while these submissive men want your love they also need to be ruled by you.

What Becky and I have in common is that we treasure our husbands, and we expect their active obedience. Active obedience means different things to various people. For me active obedience means a husband who is attentive, who listens, and does as told without back talking.

As strange as it may sound to many people John enjoys cleaning house. He finds the routine comforting. While away John missed bringing me coffee in the morning. He missed performing all of the routine services he does for me.

If you are alone with your guy call him to your presence. Have him remove your shoes, and ask him if he would like to kiss your feet.
As he kisses your feet tell him where to place his tongue. Tell him that just for a few minutes you want him to be your foot slave, and watch his face light up. Of course your grammar school teacher would not approve, but then what is the harm.

Is it kinky for a man to wait for his wife on his knees. It is a little more kinky for him to remove her shoes and kiss her feet. It is even more kinky for her to have him lick the souls of her shoes clean with his tongue.

‘I get to go out with friends while my husband stays home with the children’ she told me. She told me that she loves her husband and children, but there are times when she misses the freedom of being a single girl.

One or twice a month she goes out with the single people from her work place. On those evening she loves dancing with and flirting with men. Yes, like me she is a terrible flirt. On occasion she has even kissed a guy good night she told me. The self imposed rule is that she doesn’t go home with anyone.

She takes a taxi or Huber home. Her husband, she tells me, waits for her on his knees. She then allows him to take her shoes off, and kiss her feet as they talk about her adventures of the evening.

In our own family I love to listen when Becky talks with her husband. For a young wife she is very direct with him. ‘I want you to do such and such’ she will tell him. ‘Yes ma’am’ he generally responds. As a submissive type of personality I suspect he likes it when a woman tells him what to do in a direct and firm fashion. I know that he likes to thinks of him self as her servant or help mate. With John and I Becky has no hesitation of showing how well she controls him.

In a femdom marriage a husband more or less becomes the property of his mistress wife. His obedience is complete as humanly possible, and in many ways thinks of him self as her slave. The other aspect is that men in femdom relationships want the lady in their life to think of them as slaves. They love it when she refers to him as her slave or servant and otherwise talks to them like he is a subservient being of some type.

At a restaurant she will generally inquire as to what he would like to order. She, however, must approve of it. She will also do most of the ordering for him. If the portion is too large she will insist on a take out bag. None of this requires any of her time.

Thank you for taking the time to write about protocols. Like you, my wife thinks they are very important too. Every morning I wait kneeling naked in the worship position for her with her underwear in my outstretched hands, waiting to dress her and for her to inspect my chastity cage. I am just so proud to serve her! Her punishment protocols are very similar to yours, though she will always wear casual clothes so that the situation is not sexualized. After each stroke I have to say ‘One (etc), Thank you Mistress. Please may I have the next one.’ This helps me keep focused and takes my mind as much as possible off the stinging. The best bit is after she has finished (obviously!) when I kneel in front of her and hug her waist. She talks soothingly but authoritatively to me and will wipe away any tears as I gaze lovingly up at her. It sounds counter-intuitive but it is moments like these that make us the closest and most loving couple in the world. I don’t get punished very often now because she has trained me so well, but sometimes I miss not being punished on a regular basis.