I own a very dedicated submissive male named Butler. I also have a lovely long term relationship with my girlfriend, Heather, who once in a while helps me dominate Butler. It sounds like I have it made but I admit to occasionally feeling the urge for a sweet, younger, athletic, vanilla man to round out my life.

I don’t know why other couples experiment with cuckolding but it’s fairly simple for me. Even as a teenager, I wanted my complete sexual freedom but I didn’t want my partner to enjoy the same liberty. I’m selfish like that. Maybe I’m merely honest. After all, who wouldn’t want their freedom while their partner was faithful. I thought I would be happy if my man was indifferent to my indiscretions. Ha, I know now, I wasn’t aiming nearly high enough. A dozen years ago I wasn’t sophisticated enough to know that I could use my infidelities to energize my submissive partner’s surrender. Now, I’m trying to make up for lost time.

I cuckold my sub, Butler, for a lot of reasons, some of which I’m not sure I can easily articulate. Cuckolding him is a political, psychological, and economic, act. Also, I admit, it excites me to hurt him. I love how empowered I feel when I cuckold him. I also like the excitement of a new temporary sexual partner knowing that having such an affair can further cement my relationship with my submissive life-partner.

We all do things for a lot of different reasons that are not readily apparent to us. I don’t understand all of my reasons but I know that this feels right. My servant said the most interesting thing to me the last time I went out. He admitted that when we originally began this lifestyle that he was jealous of the men I spent time with. Now, Butler says that he views these men as nothing more than vibrating dildos that he uses to please me. He also told me that it was his spiritual duty to serve my femaleness. He added that his submission is a way he can please me sexually that another man could never accomplish without his years of training. In his utter humiliation, he has found a way to empower himself and rise above the mundane. It is wonderful to see how far he has come. I see his surrender as love. We are lucky to have found each other.

To understand my six week journal you should know that I have never shared a bedroom with Butler. I like my own space. My predilection for privacy has made his visits to my bedroom more romantic. If he’s in my room without me, he’s cleaning. If he’s there with me then we are intimate. We really don’t have a marital bed but I know he thinks of my bed that way. Consequently, he has come to think of my bedroom as a special place. He tends it like a holy shrine. I’ve never had another man in it though I’ve enjoyed another man’s company a couple of times in the last few years. However, I’m always looking for something new to do with my sub to deepen his surrender.

I decided recently that I was going to take this sacred space from him. I knew that it would hurt him. You understand, it would hurt him in just the way he needs it and wants it to hurt to drive him into deeper submission to me.

When I take something precious from him I don’t do it lightly. During the last few years, if I had acted carelessly with his feelings I think I would have lost him. However, when he sees something unfold that he perceives to have been diabolically planned then he knows that attention to his feelings was part of the plan all along. He feels loved. He knows that my actions are not only about my pleasure but also my actions are intended to bind him tighter to me. It took me weeks to ready him for this moment. I value him enough to be strategic and patient.

Physical discipline is the underlying basis of my domination of my sub. However, I want to damage more than his ass, I want to touch his soul. I want to thrust a perfect dagger into the heart of his independent manhood. It sounds counterintuitive but this is what works for us. He is a man who has a bit of experience being cuckolded but he has never actually watched.

I spent time recently at a university finishing a degree. It was full of the young athletic types who attract me, The graduate student I have chosen is cute and eager so I’m likely to personally have a good time. He latched on to me soon after we met. I’m somewhat older, better read, and I think he saw me as a challenge. He started pursuing me. A woman my age should not waste a young man’s ardor. All woman have a shelf life when they are still able to attract this kind of man. Dominant women should drink deeply of life because we can.

This took me a while to believe but over the years I’ve learned to trust that something unusual is true about Butler. My servant wants an erotic experience more than he wants actual intercourse. He can live without sex for long periods of time but he can’t live very long without something stimulating and kinky happening. For example, he believes that a woman half clothed is sexier than a naked woman. This simple preference extends deeply into his sexuality. I plan on giving him quite a ride while I also have a little fun.

Week One

This week I’ve begun tormenting him about his next cuckolding by inviting a few fellow students over to work on a project. I made sure that my next choice for a brief fling was among them. As is usual, when I have company, Butler is helpful in a completely vanilla manner. He brought us tea and snacks and cleaned up our mess while we worked. I never know what the men think of his service. They never seem to notice it. In contrast, the women are always charmed.

During a lull of working on a knotty problem one of the young women asked me who Butler was. I told her that he was my romantic partner. He’s a good bit older than me so I can understand her confusion. She grinned sheepishly and remarked, “I sorry but he was so helpful that I thought he worked for you. My boyfriend would never serve tea and snacks to my friends.” I smiled.

Afterwards, I told Butler what the woman had said about him. Cruelly, I suggested that his metamorphosis into my slave must be visible to other people to stimulate such a response from a young woman. Later, I talked about each member of the study group. I purposefully lingered for a while on the young man I’m attracted to. Butler has been trained to never show jealousy but I know him. He’s all too human. Despite all of my years of training he still wishes to claim some ownership of me. I’m not troubled by his response. It makes what I’m going to do even more interesting and irresistible. .

I purposefully gushed a bit over how handsome my intended target was and how intelligent I found him. He is adequately both of these things but I purposefully paused to rub it in. I want Butler to feel it when I betray him. Of course, “betrayal” is too strong a word but it’s somewhat how he’ll feel if I do this right. I’ve done nothing so far but talk and flirt a little but I can already feel that lovely tension between this student and me start to grow. I can also feel the even more delicious heat between Butler and me rise.

Butler will get his erotic moment and I’ll get the opportunity to enforce my personal independence while at the same time reinforcing my very real control of him. This seems to be the natural gifts exchanged between a dominant woman and a submissive man. He experiences a life of scorching tumultuous emotion that he needs to feel alive. I receive his devoted service and complete freedom. Our way is not the only way but it works for us.

Week Two

Butler knows that I’m about to date the younger student I’ve been telling him about but he is powerless to stop me.

The student, Sam, is part of my study group at the University. Our involvement in a group project necessitates that we talk on the phone occasionally. When he calls I have started to require Butler to drop what he is doing and lie on the floor in front of me. I hold on to a piece of furniture and carefully step onto his chest. No matter how I feel, I brighten my voice and talk excitedly to this student. Sometimes these calls can last 15 minutes. I can see Butler writhing on the floor underneath me in physical and emotional pain. The call often ends with me with a moist feeling between my thighs. I allow myself to gush about him at the end of each call. Butler focuses his gaze down at my feet as I talk. I can see him falling into a deep surrender.

In response to my teasing, I’ve seen that Butler has begun to put real passion into even simple tasks. Today, I noticed that he was not cleaning my kitchen floor, he was polishing it. Oh, it made we want to do a hundred different things to him. I love him too much to describe it. Of course, I won’t stop what I’m going to do. Why should I? We are both getting the life we wanted.

Week 2

I’ve invited Sam, the man I plan to seduce, to my home tomorrow night to help me with a paper I’m writing. I want Butler to observe the relationship that I will allow to develop between Sam and me. I know Butler. He’s not so much a physical masochist as he is an emotional masochist. Simply having sex with Sam will hurt Butler but he’s always known that I have occasionally cuckolded him. That’s no longer good enough for me. Butler has to see a flicker of real romance between Sam and me. I want the whole thing to unman Butler and pierce deeply into the heart of his male psyche,

If things go as planned I’ll also be adding to the excitement by defiling what Butler sees as our as a sacred space, our marital bed. This is all so exciting it’s hard not to speed this up but I know that it will be much better to slowly allow events to build. I have other surprises in store for Butler that will aid in his transformation to a completely surrendered slave. I’m taking my time. One only gets to desecrate a marital bed one time. I want things to go perfectly.

I feel very lucky I chose Butler. I doubt I could have done what I have done with a younger man. I chose Butler because of his solid maturity. He’s strong enough to take this and make it something that nudges him even closer to me and deeper into surrender. I have a heady sense of complete freedom tempered by my appreciation of my loving submissive. This is going to be more than mere fun, it’s also going to be meaningful.

The student I’m attracted to, Sam, at my invitation, stopped by today to discuss a summer project my study group is working on. I staged it perfectly. Butler was weeding in the in the front yard when he drove up. I was sitting on the front porch drinking iced tea. Sam walked up the drive and greeted me. In front of Sam, I gave Butler instructions to finish the flower beds and to eat dinner without me. I then allowed Sam to open the door to his car and hand me into his front seat. I caught the torn look on Butler’s eyes as we drove off as he watched from the front yard still on his knees. I stayed out for about two hours working on the project but my mind kept slipping to what I have planned for both men.

When I came home I know Butler was brimming with questions but his training kept him mute. I offered no information. I want him suffused with the jealousy and dread that leads to his humbling. I will allow him to bathe me and brush my hair tonight before bed. Am I cruelly teasing him? Indeed I am but it’s going to get much worse. I am filled with a wonderful sense of expectation. Being his dominatrix is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me.

Week Three

My boyfriend, I guess I should call him that, Sam, came to dinner last night. Yikes, just writing that gives me a tingle. I decided to take my cuckolding of my servant, Butler, to the next step. I’ve been increasingly harsh with him for the last few weeks. I stopped kissing him although I’ve often made use of his tongue. I’ve also belittled his past attempts at coitus. He’s very interested in sex but I have expressed a complete disdain for his offers to please me with with what I’ve called his tiny boy parts.

He has suspected that I’m having an affair with this younger man in my study group and I’ve allowed him to think that, knowing it would start chipping away at his sense of manhood. Tonight I had him cook a special dinner and secreted him in his harness in the cramped closet under the stairs as a sort of Harry Potter in bondage. From there, he could see and hear everything in the dining room and the living room. Of course, when my guest arrived, I acted as if I had cooked the meal. Yeah, I’m like that.

I tried very hard not to put on a show for Butler. I tried to forget he was even there. This was my evening. There was an interesting good-looking man coming over for dinner who was wild for me. I needed to relax and enjoy myself.

I told Sam that Butler was out late. Some might complain that I was leading Sam astray. I plan to worry about that about as much as Sam worries about me already having another man in my life, which is apparently not at all. We talked for an hour at the table. After dinner Sam offered to help clean up but I declined his offer. (He he, that’s work for a slave.)

We moved into the living room. For a long time we sat on the couch talking. I loved watching him try to seduce me. He was following a playbook I knew well. He started casually touching me the moment he arrived. There on the couch he extended his arm so that his fingertips could touch my shoulder and hair. We sipped wine and after a several minutes he confessed that he found me attractive. I could have had him right there but I love the chase.

We had music playing and he suggested that we dance. I stood up and stepped into his embrace. We swayed a while to the music. After a moment, he began kissing me. Delicious. I love being kissed by a new man. Before we slid to the floor, I pushed him gently away. I told him I was not certain how long we had to be alone. He said he understood and he invited me to dinner on Wednesday night. I accepted. We kissed again and I walked him to the door.

It’s a heady feeling to have two men under the same roof panting for you. For me, it was a great evening. After kissing Sam again at the door, I walked across the living room and opened the door to Butler’s cramped closet. Butler could not look me in the face. Instead, hunched on his hands and knees, he focused on my heels. I’ve seen him do that hundreds of times when he’s being pushed to his limit. Perfect.

I knew it was not time to be reassuring. Experience told me it was time to turn up the heat. In a matter of fact tone I told him of my future agenda. Cooly, i said, “That was fun. He’s a good dancer and a great kisser. I really like him. I’ve decided that I deserve a slave and a boyfriend. You need to get your head wrapped around this new fact. This is how it’s going to be from now on, slave. I will do anything I want to do. You will not only agree, but you will find ways to help me like cooking dinner tonight. You are simply not man enough for me. Look at yourself, in a harness with your ass plugged and your dick in a cage. What kind of man would allow himself to be put in such a predicament? Clearly, you are not a man at all. No, you’re only a slave. Luckily for you, I still want to keep you for your service. For staying silent like a good little beta bitch, I’ll allow you to bathe me and brush my hair before bed. Hurry with the dishes, I don’t want to be kept waiting too long.”

With that I started up the stairs. It was hard not to stumble. My panties were soaked. I felt dizzy with excitement. In a few minutes I knew he would be upstairs completely cowed into deep subspace. I’m writing this now, waiting for him to finish. Maybe I’ll let him lick me. But, not kiss me. No, not that. After all, I should reserve something exclusively for my new boyfriend. Or, so I’ll tell him. I thought about our many struggles over the years as we reached for more in our FLR. Finally, we are both very close to having everything we ever wanted.

Week Four

I don’t cuck my sub lightly or often. I want each of my sexual encounters to reinforce my independence and his surrender. That sounds more noble than I really am. The truth is that I’m not much into men but when I do feel the urge for a new man I want to organize my dalliances to push our FLR forward. One thing you should know about me is that I’m a list maker and a planner. It actually makes it easier for my servant Butler because he always always has my list to work from. However, my careful planning drives my spontaneous girlfriend, Heather, crazy. I will plan for something months in advance. I’m not often attracted to men but I do have appetites and I don’t feel that denying myself is what a dominatrix should do. Heather complains that I plan for things that never happen but this seduction will happen. Today, Butler is out of the house on an errand so I had Heather come over to help me with my project.

My bedroom has three doors to hide behind. I thought about restraining him in the closet with a spy hole. For some reason it didn’t feel right. Allowing him to watch felt too much like I was putting on a show for him. He doesn’t deserve that honor. I want him to be secretly present but I don’t want him titillated. I want him humbled. This explains why I crawled under the bed and had Heather bounce up and down on it to stimulate coitus.

I tried it first on my stomach but in the dim light, behind the bed skirt, I felt too isolated from the action. Next, I tried it face-up and I could see where the mattress pushed in with her exertions. That had possibilities. However, it was obvious that the bed was too high. He will be able to see something but I wanted him to also feel it. It was impractical to shorten the bed by cutting off the legs. Instead, I borrowed the mattress from our foldout couch and slipped it under the bed. Later, I’ll tell him it was for his comfort. But, it’s not.

I want my rocking hips to mush into his face with each stroke. With Heather energetically bouncing on the bed I could just feel it barely touching the tip of my nose. Perfect. Two people ought to be just right. I lay there imagining what it will be like for him. Soon, I became so slippery that I squirmed out from under the bed. Heather, bless her evil heart, was just as ready for me as I was for her. This kind of humiliation of a man turns her on.

Of course, she wants me to do it tonight. She is the impatient type. Not me, a woman only gets one opportunity to do something for the first time. When the stars align, and the time is right, I have now rehearsed exactly what to do. I know Butler. He’ll appreciate the thought I put into this. He understands that I want it to be right for both of us.

Week Five

To help prepare Butler, I stopped allowing him to kiss me. At least, not on the lips. I’ve told him it seems improper somehow for him, as my mere servant, to be so familiar. Instead, I have encouraged him to rim me frequently. He knows what’s coming. I can see him squirm and try to bend his head around it.

Not kissing Butler is only the beginning of his discipline. I also start finding more things wrong with his almost perfect housekeeping, thus adding additional lashes during his weekly punishment sessions. During times like this, I emotionally move away from him a little and become more cold and severe.

When I act like this he knows that something is about to happen that will test him and pull him deeper into submission. He redoubles his efforts but it’s all for naught. I want him ready so I keep tightening the screws. I’ve considered carefully each step I will make in the coming days.

I’m not interested in cuckolding a man to increase his excitement. I’m not putting on a show. I have another agenda. If you are a woman who wants her sexual freedom but wants to keep her husband monogamous then, in my opinion, you have a lot of work to do. Cuckolding could destroy a man and ruin your relationship. Even if you entered into an open relationship from the beginning, a woman still has a lot of work to do to prepare a man for a cuckold lifestyle. He has to be ready. Also, I wanted this experience to be fuel to empower his path to full surrender.

Week Five

My date last night was fabulous. It started with having Butler prepare me for it. Most men have no idea what a woman goes through to put herself together for an important date. My servant knows but only because I’ve kept him under my strict tutelage for over a decade..

He keeps my clothes and shoes in a near perfect state. I didn’t have to worry about something being at the cleaners or not ironed. To keep him involved in my preparations, he touched up my nails and he curled and dried my hair. Getting ready is a bit of a production and I wanted him actively involved in all of it. He’s done this before. I’ve been out on several dates but he sensed that this one was different.

When I was finally polished and primped I had him kneel and kiss the tops of my heels. Again, this is something he has done before. I had wracked my brain on how I could make this date special. Whenever I get stuck like this I always go to my ace in the hole, Heather. After, preparing me, Butler and I came down stairs to find that Heather, who following my suggestion, had let herself in the house. She stood at the bottom of the landing smiling up at me

I could feel Butler tense. Heather frightens him a little. She doesn’t really like to see me dating other men but she kissed me on the cheek and told me that no man deserved me. She’s such a dear. I informed Butler that while I was at dinner I wanted him to make himself useful by giving Heather a manicure and pedicure. He was immediately agreeable although I know he was thinking he’d rather be locked alone in a cage. Such is a slave’s life

I chatted with Heather about my date for a few minutes and about excited I was until doorbell rang. I kissed Butler on the cheek and left knowing what Heather had in mind for him. I could hear her start in as I walked to the front of the house. I couldn’t hear what was being said but Heather can drip more scorn and haughty bitchiness in one line than the evil queen in Snow White does in the entire fairytale. I concentrated on what was before me.

I had a wonderful dinner. Sam pulled out all the stops in his ongoing program to seduce me. He was charming and full of compliments and wit while he attempted to subtly ply me with wine. Men never learn. They never ask themselves why it is on the night that they finally talk a woman into bed that she just happens to be wearing her best set of lingerie? Women decided when. This time I wanted both men dangling on the hook just a little longer before I reeled them in.

While I tried to be present with this charming young man I knew that Heather was putting the screws to Butler. Earlier, she told me something of her plans. She would make it clear to him that I had replaced him with a younger and a more virile partner. Oh, she can grind it in when she wants to do so! I had to secretly smile to myself when I thought about it. And, I admit, it was partly true. Sam is younger and more beautiful. And, I was out with him at an elegant dinner while Butler served under the lash of my evil twin. Also, later, at a time of my choosing, I was going to enjoy this young man’s sweet body. Of course, men have been betraying their wives with younger women since time began. It felt like justice to be turning things around for once.

After dinner, I allowed Sam to take me home. We arrived about the time I expected to return. I knew that Heather, per my instructions, had placed Butler where he could see and hear me say goodnight to Sam at the door. This was important to me. I have cucked Butler a couple of times but he never knew the men nor had he been required to watch. I wanted him to see the romance and heat grow between my date and me. I wanted him powerless to stop what was happening. This time when Sam and I kissed I allowed it to go on much longer. I admit it was more difficult to extract myself from his embrace this time because I wanted to stay there. I could feel his manhood pressed hard against my belly. I told him that I would have the house to myself this coming weekend. Sam understood what I was saying. After another passionate embrace, he left with a smile. I turned and entered the house.

I found Butler was on his hands and knees in the darkened hallway. Straddling him was Heather wearing a wicked smile. She is my perfect partner in crime. Apparently, she had been amused by Butler’s predicament and had spent the evening psychologically torturing him about it. I almost never try to feminize him but Heather had put him in a frilly apron to receive her manicure and pedicure. I didn’t need to use my imagination to know that she had been savaging his manhood by underlining the fact that I was out with a younger man while he was dressed like a sissy and doing her nails. Heather knew exactly what I wanted. Butler never raised his head until Heather left several minutes later.

Afterwards, I kept to the script by being completely matter of fact. If Butler was experiencing a soul searing experience I made it clear that I was only doing what seemed natural. I’m sure he wondered where he would be this weekend when I had Sam over. I knew that he would prefer anything other than to be lent to Heather. However, he was too well trained to ask. Instead, he went ahead and prepared me for bed. It had to be torture for him to undress me and carefully hang up my clothes. Was he looking for signs of possible love making? As he does most nights, he stood behind me at my vanity and brushed my hair for a few minutes. He rarely speaks during these quiet minutes while I concentrate on the delicious sensation of the brush combing through my hair. I could feel the sexual tension between us. I love it when he’s caught between being too scared to rebel and too scared to move forward. It was all unfolding just as I hoped. Later, after dismissing him to his tiny room down the hall, I slept like an innocent child.

Week Six

Butler knows he’s not going to leave no matter what I do today. He’s not going to openly refuse his cuckolding. He’s not even going to complain. He will even avoid appearing anything but enthusiastic about how he prepares the house and me for what will happen tonight. Of course, I’m more exacting than usual. I’m openly telling him that I want things nice for my new boyfriend, Sam.

I loved making him change the sheets on my bed and replacing them with the dark blue satin ones. I don’t usually watch him while he’s doing household chores but I invented a reason to be in my bedroom while he was doing that important task. I smiled when I noticed him tremble as he pulled the sheets tight.

He worked very hard all day. Both of us know why he’s so eager to please. It’s Saturday. On Saturday he faces the cane for any failures in his submission to me. He’s always a little cowed on Saturday knowing what’s coming. I’m willing, perhaps eager, to use the cane on him at the least sign of rebellion. He only has a dozen coming so he’s trying hard to avoid any additional strokes. If he receives over twenty, I always leave him in his chastity cage until the next week. He’s been out most of this week and I’m sure he’d love to stay out.

The thought that he is actually physically afraid of displeasing me floods me with a sense of accomplishment. This relationship didn’t happen overnight. It took years. Now, it’s all paying off. I told him that I invited Heather to view his discipline this evening. I know he dislikes it when she watches. He finds it humiliating. He also swears I beat him harder when she is there. I really don’t try to do so but I admit that he should know better than me. I’m sure that he thinks that because I have a date coming over tonight that I’ll be sending him home with Heather. He truly hates that because time with her is always filled with nothing but drudgery. However, I’m not sending him home to be babysat by Heather. I have something much more interesting planned. I feel like I’m floating. It’s going to be a great day.

When I started with my sub years ago I had a dream of owning an older man who adored me. I envisioned him doing all of my housework, turning over his salary to me, and lovingly supporting my sex life with other men and women. Now, it’s all happening. I didn’t know that along the way I would learn to care deeply for him but I have. Nevertheless, we’ve moved forward with my original dream. After his weekly caning, with Heather looking on and smirking, I let him know that I was not sending him home with Heather when Sam was scheduled to arrive. He looked at me with a mixed expression of relief and fear. I think it would have hurt him to remove him from the action. Nevertheless, I’m sure he was asking himself if I would humiliate him in front of my new friend? One day I will, but I had something else in mind.

I invited my friend Heather over to increase his anxiety and because I needed her help. I gave Butler the signal to follow on his knees. I led them both to my bedroom. He had carefully cleaned it to make it ready for my guest. It was his sacred place and I was about to bring another man into it. I motioned for him to crawl under the bed and lie on his back. He had on his cuffs so it was simple to run the straps that Heather brought though the buckles to pull him into a four point spread-eagle position. Simultaneously, Heather and I began ratcheting the belts so that he was stretched out under the bed. I wanted him to feel the pull of his restraints. I wanted him to feel helpless. I love these moments. During it all, Heather kept up a running banter of small talk meant to humble him. She kept suggesting things I should do like making him fluff my lover, etc. She knew that none of her suggestions were likely as the young man on the way was a vanilla stud muffin but she loves messing with Butler’s head. It only took a moment to secure and secret him behind the bed skirt

Heather and I stood across the bed from each other and realized what was about to happen. Without a word, she pulled me across the bed and began kissing me. Yikes, I almost called Sam and told him to wait. However, after a steamy moment Heather had another idea. She suddenly broke from my embrace to stand on the bed. Once up, she started jumping up and down and yelling triumphantly, “This is how it’s going to be! She’s going to fuck him right on top of you! Do you feel like an idiot yet?”

Ha! She is a force of nature. I finally got my wild child calmed down and out of the house. But, she was right. It would happen exactly like she said it would.

I left Butler to wait for Sam downstairs. He lay in restraints under the bed listening. When the bell rang, I enthusiastically greeted Sam at the door. I guessed Butler could hear our conversation from the living room. I offered drinks. No doubt, he could hear the music I played. I’m sure he lay there imagining us dancing downstairs as we had on an earlier date.

I was a little nervous when I finally led Sam into the bedroom. He’s completely vanilla and probably woudn’t be able to function if he knew he had an audience. I was afraid of him discovering Butler restrained under the bed but I shouldn’t have worried. Sam was beside himself by the time I finally brought him to my room.

I doubt the details of my straight sexual encounter with Sam would be interesting to the Fetlife reader. Sam has a beautiful body and he was an enthusiastic sex partner. I admit to gushing a bit about the thickness of his cock, which was actually about average, but I was not going to miss any obvious opportunities to humble Butler. And, if I was a little more verbal with my moaning than usual who could blame me? I was fucking two men at the same time. It was fabulous.

Sam is young so he almost ruined it by orgasming too soon. I finally got him under control and proceeded to ride him for a good long time. I never forgot what was happening under the bed. I knew that very thrust of my hips pressed against Butler’s face and into the heart of whatever male identity he has left after years of my training. However, I also knew that instead of driving him away, I had saved and strengthened my relationship with Butler because I had restrained him close to the action. Yes, it was terribly humiliating but he would see that my plan included him. He was not going to be replaced by a younger man. He would realize that his restraints meant I was keeping him close.

Finally, after I had finished with Sam and shooed him home, I came back to my room and stretched out on the bed luxuriating on what had just occurred. It felt marvelous. I knew that I would continue on this path until Butler made it part of his life work to encourage me to have as many lovers as I wanted. After a few minutes I leaned down and undid the straps. I sat in the chair in my bedroom waiting for Butler to crawl out from under the bed.

He didn’t move immediately. The room was quiet for a few minutes. I wondered if he was crying. However, after a few minutes he wiggled out from under the bed. He did not crawl to me on his hands and knees as I assumed he would. Instead, he slithered across on his belly. Occasionally, he stopped and kissed the floor. It took me a second to realize that he was kissing where I had walked. Oh, it was something to watch. When he arrived at my chair, he began to kiss my feet with passion. Then, I think he may have cried a little. We will do many other things but we will always have this moment.

After a few minutes I lifted his head and I kissed him tenderly. It was the first time I had kissed him in weeks. Without saying too much, I dismissed him from his usual night duties to return to the room I call his slave quarters. He doesn’t know it yet but tomorrow I’m going to visit him there and screw his brains out. He deserves it after proving to me, yet again, that he is the man of my dreams. However, if you don’t understand why it’s a strategic decision to have chosen his bed and not my bed to reward him in, then you don’t get me at all.