I appreciate the boundaries of safe, sane, and consensual. However, my sub’s service to me is no longer consensual. How could it be? I’ve been actively dominating him in the most diabolical manner my wicked imagination could come up with for 18 years. He’s been beaten, starved, isolated, denied, cucked, hypnotized, ignored, robbed, and even loved. My sub is broken. And, that’s what we both wanted.

From the beginning I noted how tender and loving he was towards me after I punished him. He seemed more open and emotionally accessible after a whipping. His response to my dominance confirmed to me that we were on the right track. He didn’t want to run away. He wanted to go deeper. This should be your test. Our S&M experiences broke down barriers between us that I doubt could have been breached any other way. It’s a different kind of loving but it’s still love.

When we started, I asked him to deeply consider the ramifications and consequences of agreeing to become my slave before we seriously began this lifestyle. I wanted him to weigh his choice carefully. After all, submission is much more of a commitment than marriage. Real slaves can’t quit when the lifestyle becomes uncomfortable. What about “safe, sane, and consensual?” We agreed with the “safe and sane” part but we wanted to stretch the consensual part.

We both committed to a program of physical and psychological discipline that would transform him. To this we added a combination of financial pressure, blackmail, and hypnosis. We worked hard at this. Physically, it is conceivable that he could quit, but we’ve spent a almost two decades building a wall against such an unlikelihood. After all that he has experienced, he thinks differently. He no longer thinks of himself as a man. He thinks of himself as my slave. This was always our goal. In addition, at every cusp or crisis he has only urged me forward. Now, after years of training, there is no escape for him. He is mine.

Beat a man with serious intent at regular internals and things will eventually start happening that you didn’t plan.

Sometimes, I like making certain. Every once in a while, I place Butler in complicated bondage to keep him completely immobile during his punishment. I don’t want to make any mistakes. I love him very secure. When he’s all trussed up, I suddenly feel completely relaxed. It’s better than valium. In that moment when he is completely helpless, everything seems right with the world. He usually starts babbling about how much he wants to give me or do for me. I love our rituals.

Over the last few years I have taken his friends, his money, his time, his orgasm, his career, his pride, even his phone. When he was the most vulnerable, just for fun, I used to ask him to think of more things I could take or new services he could provide. I became very bitchy when he couldn’t think of anything new or interesting. He tells me it could be quite painful. Somehow, despite all we had done, he always came up with something new.