Just do remember that an occasion of letting him loose help reinforce what he is giving up. I think though in those moments if you do allow release you have to wrap it in a way where he has no choice about the device, and you ramp up the “work” post-happiness to ensure idle minds and hands don’t happen …
The biological elements of the lasting and enduring nature of a woman’s orgasm compared to the short lived and depressing results of a male climax are best kept in mind with “him” sharing in “her” climax and limiting his for both their pleasure and good.
Do I dare to ask a question.you state that you still have intercourse with your husband. Do you intend to stop having intercourse with him as it seems to be the case in your second post?
My husband and I are also on the point of stopping having intercourse and all help would be appreciated.
Practicing male chastity has brought me in profound alignment to meeting my wife’s needs. Chastity has rewired my brain and oriented it toward service to her.
I do believe placing my wife and her pleasure first is the right way to live. For the husband to sacrifice is really no sacrifice at all in the end. It has given me the wife of my dreams!
The paradigm shift of putting her pleasure as the ONLY goal of our lovemaking, not just the FIRST goal, has made a remarkable difference in how we treat each other. Now that my wife is free of the burden of worrying about my pleasure, she seems so much more confident, joyful and playful. I pursue her with love and intense desire and she is having a blast teasing and denying me.
In the past couple of months pet has increasingly become a “househusband” through default. he is doing all the weekly menus, shopping for them and then cooking every day. he is also doing most of the laundry, cleaning and other household chores.
When we were struggling to maintain D/s roles in our earlier months I would have said this was how I wanted him to be… my housepet. But apparently it’s not that simple.
Through no failings on pet’s part at ALL, I have discovered that what I ACTUALLY want is to feel like a Princess. Spoiled with affection, attention, sexual services, etc, etc.
Some wives require their husband to stand when she, or another woman, enter the room in which he is seated. I know of a few that require their husband to be at the door to greet them when she arrives home. I am expected to follow certain protocols of deference like – never asking if we may leave a social function – that is her call, I don’t tell her where we will be going next – she tells me, I open doors
But you might allow him as few as a couple orgasms a month while you enjoy a quickie in the morning, another after work, and a more intimate and prolonged encounter in the evening. That is a ratio approaching 50:1.
These ratios, while interesting, are irrelevant. Once you pass beyond 5:1 there is really no longer any meaningful connection between your orgasms and his, they become entirely different matters: his are a strict matter of discipline, the exact frequency that brings about optimal adoration and obedience while you can enjoy as many as you wish. In fact, the more sexual intimacy, the better for the marriage.
Asymmetric sex has been one of the aspects of our marriage that has been most surprising to me in its development. Don’t get me wrong – I have always been the dominant and leading one in both the relationship and in sex but i have been amazed at how “far” this has gone. I am a bit embarrassed to confess this here but my own satisfaction has become “on demand” and my husband understands that his satisfaction in that way is not a given nor is it “tied” to my own. He is expected to give a great deal of oral and almost whenever I am in that mood. What I think is most unbelievable to me is how this has become a “treat” just for him to do so and that he is so accepting of the fact that it is “just” me who is getting satisfied in that way.
I am not a believer in “eliminating” my husbands satisfaction. I am surprised (hugely) by how motivated he is to “just” satisfy me. I don’t want to “detail it” here but he has accepted a (very) submissive position in the bedroom and it seems to work well for us. I would expect that by some wives standards the ratio of orgasm I allow him is quite low. I have not counted precisely but essentially his are rare mine are frequent. His are based on behavior and compliance. Mine are based on when I want them. I “demand” (that sounds harsher than I usually am but it is required). He is expected not to request but I will provide something when I feel it is warranted and he has shown me he is deserving.
However, even if he is “deserving” it is not by any means guaranteed. Frankly my general mood is always a factor. I do toy with him quite a bit though – to keep him engaged. Lastly, this is not something I would have even believed in my earlier life. I find it immensely satisfying both personally and sexually. I know my husband does too. Is there a degree of frustration for him – absolutely but that is actually a part of what works – I have come to believe.
>My wife does not have the high libido you describe – I have to give her plenty of foreplay to get her in the mood. But her pleasure always comes first, and I no longer expect or really ask for pleasure any more. Sometimes she simply falls asleep after she climaxes. Other times she will tease me and then simply say, “OK, time for bed”.
The “public question” was apparent to me last weekend when I had my husband prep, serve and clean up after a small group of professional women I had over for a “business-social” type gathering. Again, the “dynamic” did not go unnoticed. The two single women chided “where can I get one of those”. At one point there was what I would call some “gentle teasing”. My husband is sensitive and can be prone to blushing easily and did so then. I think he knows though that I won’t let the ladies get too rough!
Nancy suggested that Dennis also participate in marches and other public forums in support of women’s issues. He took her suggestions (quite properly) as orders and complied, another good sign. It’s no secret that we women love manipulating men, especially when it results in our getting control of some of man’s ill-gained money. Nancy did this with great aplomb!
In her second year she convinced Dennis that she deserved more than the dormitories and belonged in an upscale downtown apartment. Thinking he was going to move in with Nancy silly boy!—he arranged a very nice apartment. But Nancy had no intention of his moving in with her. She arranged the lease to be in his name only with a sublet to her for $1 a year! This meant that Dennis paid for the year, yet still couldn’t move her from the apartment. In fact, Dennis never moved in, though he did visit on Thursdays to clean the place—that was his responsibility. Dennis was, in effect, my daughter’s sugar daddy, renting the apartment for her for three years. Now that’s a man worth looking at—money and obedience, two very important criteria. (As for that third essential attribute a woman requires in a man, well, let’s just skip over that one for now.
Our matriarchal circle is a small but growing. Many of the couples who join seem to be like your wife and you, Mark. We’re seeing so many educated women who want as much on their terms as they can get—and they deserve it all! You’d be surprised how many men are turning over paychecks, doing housework, and not standing in the way when their wives want regular nights out with the girls—or, more and more frequently, with the “boys.”
Life in our family homes is fairly routine. It’s not some kind of femdom scene, just a well-organized situation with well-established rules to make sure everyone knows their responsibilities. Much of the real lifestyle work we do is outside the home. For example, Dennis has jobs outside of his regular career where he works for women-owned businesses. He also spends a lot of time working at the women’s center, a feminist group that is into a lot of activities, workshops, demonstrations and so on.