I sat down and established four cornerstones to a successful Femdom marriage. I referred to them as the 4 D’s: Discipline, Domestication, Denial and Domination. And as I shared these with others, I realized you could also bring it down to 4 actual D&S tools. I referred to them as the 4 P’s: The Paddle, the Panties, the Padlock and the Phallus.

1) Discipline (The Paddle):

A weekly discipline session between a dominant wife and her submissive husband is vital. It doesn’t have to be fancy with leather outfits and whips and bondage and all of that. It could be that from time to time in order to add some extra spice and variety but let’s keep with the fundamentals for now. Let’s keep to the paddle (or the hairbrush if you prefer). A weekly session where the woman has her hubby across her lap (or across her bed) and she disciplines him based on his weekly performance in serving her will do miracles in a marriage. If he’s been an obedient hubby, the discipline serves to remind him of his place and to keep him focused. If he has been a disobedient hubby, the discipline will be firmer in order to teach him and train him to do a better job. A weekly spanking will invade his mind, stir his submission and do wonders for a Femdom relationship. Not to mention that it will also build a strong bond of intimacy between the wife and her subby hubby.

2) Domestication (The Panties):

One area that needs to be addressed during the weekly discipline session is hubby’s performance in doing his assigned chores each week. And let’s be perfectly frank here. In a successful Femdom marriage, the hubby needs to be doing the majority of the housework. I don’t care how much he works or what a great financial provider he is, that does not excuse him from being domesticated. A domesticated hubby is an obedient hubby. If you allow him to skirt his domestic responsibilities, you are opening the door for trouble in other areas. And the best tool to remind him of his domesticated role is to require him to wear panties. He doesn’t have to be a cross-dresser and the panties don’t have to be a part of forced feminization. And the wife doesn’t have to transform her hubby into a sissy. But there are powerful psychological, sociological and sexual reasons why a submissive hubby should be doing housework while he is wearing a pair of panties (preferably a pair of his wife’s panties). The panties will remind him of his submissive status as well as provide him motivation (and probably sexual excitement which will assist with the motivation.)

3) Denial (The Padlock):

The panties are a psychological tool for training a man but an even greater tool at the woman’s disposal is the practice of keeping her man sexually denied. It’s been said that a denied male is an obedient male. I would add that an aroused male is also a motivated male. A sexually satisfied male is more likely to be a lazy and complacent male. And not only is the denial process essential in keeping a man obedient outside the bedroom, it can be vital in training a man to be a great lover.

The denial process will teach your hubby to focus his sexual energy on pleasuring the woman (especially orally). Only after the woman has been sexually satisfied will she decide whether or not her hubby is to receive any sexual relief. How often a man is allowed sexual relief will be up to the woman as she weighs his performance, his attitude and his level of servitude. This gives the woman sexual power over her man and most men love to be under the control of a woman’s sexual power. 

Denial is often accomplished with the use of a male chastity device (thus the padlock). It doesn’t have to be but if the honor system is not working, a chastity device can be an invaluable tool. And should your hubby become a bit rebellious about wearing such a device, there are devices today that incorporate additional training aides such as spiked rings to prevent erections or electric shock rings that can give off pulses of correction via a remote control (much like a shock collar used to train animals). But with keeping to the fundamentals, a basic chastity device (like the CB2000, 3000, or 6000) should do in the beginning.

4) Domination (The Phallus):

The fundamentals can be both old school and new school. Physical domination via the paddle is old school yet still very effective. Sexual domination via the strap-on harness is new school and just as effective (if not more so). If a woman wants to get inside of her man’s head and train him via sexuality, there is not a better aide than the strap-on. The man who submits to the strap-on is a man who will submit to the woman who is wielding the phallus attached to the strap-on. The strap-on is a powerful tool as it cuts to the chase; psychologically, sociologically and sexually. It lets the husband know that his wife is the boss. Much like the paddle, the strap-on should be a regular part of any FemDom regiment. And much like the paddle, the strap-on will also build intimacy.

I keep it as simple as possible and it becomes habit and second nature for me. First, once a week, preferably on Friday night, I discipline my husband with an OTK (over the knee) spanking. I might dress up in a leather outfit but more times than not I’ll keep it simple and wear lingerie or something that makes me feel dominant or sexy. 

I will spank him as I grade his weekly performance. Did he do all of his chores? Did he put lots of thought and creativity in preparing my dinners? Was his attitude humble and obedient toward me? I also go over with him what I expect out of him in the week to come. Our weekly discipline session will often lead to sex. If I get excited, I will have him worship my body and orally pleasure me. 

Secondly, my husband gets home before I do each day so before I leave for work, I lay out a pair of panties on my bed. When he gets home, he knows he is to put them on and get to his chores, which includes preparing my dinner. My hubby is always pantied around the house. 

Thirdly, my hubby is in chastity all of the time. We did the CB2000 but have evolved. He now wears a Carrara belt. It is big and bulky and expensive but it is the best we found at making sure he is safe and secure and 100% unable to touch himself in any way. 

Finally, I use the strap-on, usually on our discipline night, every other week. So when you boil it down, we usually only have a D&S session once a week and rarely more than that. Every Friday night (or Saturday if we have plans on Friday) I discipline him and at the same time I grade his weekly performance and depending on the week and my mood, I will take him with the strap-on. These nights almost always lead to sex and sex is about the woman’s pleasure so I get pleasured and most times he stays denied. The other six nights we function in our D&S roles but I don’t have to dominate him because he is focused, so we can interact just like any other couple and we have the intellectual companionship and the friendship to make for a healthy marriage. It takes a little work but not as much as you’d think as long as I stay committed to that weekly discipline session.”

We’ve settled into a more domestic-oriented femdom lifestyle as of late. James has been serving me domestically and sexually (massages, oral servitude) while he has remained denied, wearing his CB6000 a goodly portion of the time around the house. To be honest with you, I don’t really keep track of his orgasms. They are rare and under my supervision but I had no idea it had been so long since his last one until the other night when he came to me and begged me for relief.

James confessed to me that he has been having lots of femdom dreams lately and that it is taking him longer and longer for his balls to subside from a swollen state whenever he becomes aroused. So I inquired “how long has it been since I last allowed you an orgasm?” He replied, “January 31”.

Wow, has it really been that long? I figured it had to be approaching four months but I had no idea it’s been almost six months. James remembers it well. It was during that stint in late January when we were “playing” almost nightly. On January 31, we did another face sitting session and I had been teasing and denying him for days so I knew he had to be on edge sexually. Therefore, after I had been sexually satisfied that night, I allowed him to masturbate in front of me.

A lot has happened since January 31 so I must say that I am very proud of my hubby for holding off this long and not begging me for relief sooner than this. Of course he likes being denied. He loves the feeling of being aroused and under my control. However, two months is a long time. I remember about ten years ago I tried to deny him for longer than a month but he had a wet dream and climaxed in his sleep.

And to celebrate my decision to make him wait a few more weeks(and to add to his frustration) I had James orally pleasure my body. He came to me begging for relief and I was the one who got the orgasm. Seems only fair, don’t you think? I will have had at least 50 orgasms since my hubby last had one. That is why I could never be a submissive. But my hubby loves it and he wouldn’t trade his place in this marriage for all the orgasms in the world. 40 to 1 ratio! Like I said, seems fair to me.

Now on to the big news. First of all, I got hubby some nasty S&M gifts for Christmas, including a Kali’s Teeth Bracelet (KTB). I ordered the mild version with dull spikes but don’t let that mislead you. They still work when training a man not to become erect without your permission.

So far I’ve only used it once. I put it on James, locking it around the base of his cock and balls while he performed cunninglingus and analingus on me. He was most uncomfortable while I was being pleasured. I only left it on him for about 30 minutes but it worked beautifully as he did not grow an erection. When I took it off it left some nice marks on his flesh around the base of his cock but it did not break the skin. He grew an immediate erection once I took off the KTB. He was very excited as he admired the ‘teeth’ bites on his skin. I made him take a cold shower and then install his CB6000.

Another interesting item I bought James for Christmas was a set of X-mats. These are mats designed to keep pets off the furniture. They have plastic points all over them. I got this idea from my friend Ginger. She uses these mats as a punishment for her hubby. Naturally an animal is smart enough not to lie down on these mats because the plastic spikes hurt. But what if a dominant wife orders her hubby to sit on them or lie down on them? They become punishment mats.

hubby has been very aroused, so aroused that last night (after we got back from a very nice dinner) he begged me to put on my new custom-fit leather pants and give him an over the lap spanking. And when I say he begged, I mean he begged. It was both sweet and a little pathetic at the same time. But I loved it. I love to hear a man beg, especially my husband. Not many men are good at begging. James has gotten better at it over the years but last night was perfect begging, just the right combination of sincerity, worshipfulness, desperation and sexual frustration. It turned me on.

So I made a deal with him. I would put on my new pants and administer a spanking with my leather paddle but if he had an accident, if he had an unauthorized orgasm and screwed up our denial schedule, or if he had another wet dream when he slept, then I was going to get him pierced and install a permanent chastity device. James was so desperate to see me in my pants again that he agreed.

I didn’t make a production out of it and no Sgt. Pepper’s jacket, just my leather bra and the pants, no boots. As soon as James saw me sitting on the edge of my bed with paddle in hand, he fell to his knees and asked permission to kiss and lick my pants. I granted him permission. He started at my feet and worked his way up. To say he was full of passion would be the understatement of the year. He was really getting me excited as I could feel his tongue through the leather.

I ordered him to climb across my lap. His chastity device was in the way but I wasn’t about to let him out so I opened my legs a bit and tucked it between the inside of my thighs. I told James not to move, not to hump and not to wiggle else I would end our session.

I took the leather paddle and I did very little in the way of a warm-up. I started our moderate and I took it to hard in no time. I really blistered his ass and he seemed to love it. He was deep in subspace and he just laid there like a statue, not saying a word, not even a grunt or a moan. I continued and I could feel his swollen penis between my legs shrinking inside its cage, which told me he was in pain, yet not a sound. I continued until he finally yelled out his safe word. His ass was bright red and scorching hot.

I soothed it with my bare hands and now I was dripping wet from excitement. I rolled him off of my lap and I undid the belt and unzipped my pants. I ordered him to open the zippers on the pants at the ankles and to pull off my pants and carefully hang them up. As he did this, I removed my panties and I commanded him to crawl between my legs. He orally serviced me and it didn’t take long for me to climax.

Hubby was a good boy and his denial schedule is still on track. I examined him this morning, no traces of a wet dream, he was leaking pre-cum just from my slightest touch and his balls are still very full. One more month of chastity to go!

He hasn’t had a conscious orgasm since the end of March. My goal is to deny him for two straight months.

Hubby had a wet dream in the wee hours of the morning on May 6th. We had a prolonged tease and denial session the night of May 4th and I guess it was too intense because while he was sleeping during the morning of the 6th, he ejaculated inside his chastity device.

Friday night I was in the mood to discipline hubby and I was in the mood to add a little flavor to it by dressing in leather bra, leather thong and my thigh high leather boots. I began with an over the lap spanking with my hairbrush (hubby in chastity) but the poor dear got too excited and started to experience some discomfort from his balls being so full and swollen and the plastic ring of the chastity device restricting the blood flow. His balls were turning purple so I had to make a decision … end the session or allow him out of chastity. I made the wrong choice and should have known better but what can I say, I was in the mood to dominate him. I put my faith in his ability to place mind over body. I thought he could hold back his orgasm if I didn’t touch his erection. I was sadly mistaken.

After I unlocked his chastity device and he painfully was able to remove it from his expanded testicles, I knew I couldn’t put him back over my lap. If his erection touched my soft thighs for a second I knew he would have difficulty not climaxing.

So I had the idea that I would place him in bondage in a stand up position and a more severe discipline session might make him go limp. It’s worked in the past. We have hooks in the doorframe of the doorway leading from my bedroom to my bathroom. James is tall so he was able to stretch his arms out over his head while keeping his feet firmly on the floor. Standing on a stool I tied his wrists to the hooks using leather wrist cuffs. Once he was secured, I began to whip his backside with my riding crop. As is normal during our discipline sessions, I graded his performance in doing his chores and his overall level of servitude over the past week. I pointed out where he could improve as well as verbalize to him what was expected of him in the week to come.

As I was whipping his buttocks with the crop, increasing the severity, I noticed he was not going limp at all. In fact, he was dripping an unusual amount of pre-cum. That should have been a red flag for me to stop, but again I wanted to see if he could resist. Besides, there have only been a few occasions when hubby has climaxed during a session without any physical stimulation.

I switched to the cane, figuring the pain from the dreaded cane would decrease his sexual excitement and as a result lessen his erection. I figured it might help if I could get his mind to focus on something else so I ordered him to count each stroke of the cane. We got to about 7 or 8 when he let out a scream and he shot his load all over the bathroom floor.

If it’s of any consolation, I can tell you it was not a pleasurable orgasm. He tried to hold back and he was feeling the brunt of my cane as he was climaxing. I was not really upset, in fact I was kind of amazed at what I just witnessed. But I gave him 5 more hard blows with the cane as a way of expressing my displeasure before I untied him and made him clean up his mess.

I felt a little sorry for him so I allowed him to worship my boots and my body (his erection still very, very stiff) and orally pleasure me. His punishment for the unauthorized orgasm? Two more months of denial.

It’s been a week since hubby was allowed an orgasm after being denied for two months. I noticed a definite drop in his enthusiasm for submission last Sunday night, Monday and Tuesday. Don’t get me wrong, he was still the same sweet man and he was respectful toward me but he didn’t seem very interested in femdom interactions of D&S play. In fact, he seemed rather cold as if wasn’t interested in any intimate interaction with me. He also was rather lazy when it came to doing his chores.

I wore my new custom leather pants last night and gave hubby an over the lap spanking with my leather paddle. I also allowed hubby to worship the leather as it clung to my body.

This was all a precursor to a wonderful and lengthy session of female body worship. I am not seeing anyone right now so hubby is my entire outlet for sexual pleasure. Last night hubby performed lots of body worship, toe sucking, ass licking, and pussy eating. Hubby also used my vibrator on my clit and hand penetrated me with my large black dildo.

It fills me in a way few men can and over the years hubby has become quite good at using this dildo on me in the slow sensual way that I like. I swear he is almost as humiliated by having to pleasure me with a dildo as he is when I cuckold him.

We did some Queening with me sitting on his face as he penetrated my ass deeply with his tongue. And the night ended with me relaxed on the bed with hubby between my legs licking my pussy. I had three or four excellent orgasms. Hubby was in chastity the entire time as our sex life has returned to what is normal for us.

I stood in front of him and ordered him to thrust his hips and hump the air. The rubber tubing caused just enough stimulation to take him to the edge but there was zero stimulation to his sweet spots, the head of the penis, his shaft or the underside of his cock, and just the smallest amount of pressure to his balls. I then began to verbally dominate my hubby. I told him how pleased I was that he went two entire months in chastity without a single accident. I told him that the next time I might expand his denial time by an additional week. My next goal will be 9 weeks so he’d better concentrate and have a good one tonight.

I then told him that although I failed to record each and every one as I had hoped, by my calculation, between being frequently orally pleasured by him, being fucked and orally pleasured by Thomas, being fingered to orgasm as I was kissing a young man when I was out in Vegas, and the occasional pleasuring of myself, I had at least 50 orgasms since he last had one. I admonished him to think about that. We are the exact same age, we are happily married and yet his wife gets to enjoy 50+ orgasms to each one he is permitted to have. Then I teased, “Do you think we can get to 100 to 1 in the future?”

I ordered James to hump the air faster. His erection was stiffer than I’ve seen it in some time and he was dripping pre-cum into a small puddle below him on the rubber floor of the confinement room.

I continued with my teasing and taunting, telling him what a sight I was beholding, how pathetic he looked humping away at nothing. I teased that I should video this pitiful spectacle and post it on my blog so the whole world could see what kind of a man I’m married to.

I read his body language, paying close attention to his cock, watching how it was throbbing and pulsating, trying my best to judge how close he may be to climaxing. Each time he seemed like he was about to climax, I would order him to stop humping and to relax his body. I then grabbed one of the resistance bands, stretched it toward me, and let it go. It snapped hard against this cock and balls, making hubby yelp out in pain. It was enough to shock his mind away from wanting to climax, if only for a few seconds. I then ordered him to resume humping the air and the buildup began all over again.

We did this for about 30 minutes, he would thrust his hips, being stimulated just enough by the rubber bands and my verbal humiliation to take him to the edge of climax, than I would order him to stop and I would pull one of the bands and snap it hard against his balls. And we would go again and again.

After about 30 minutes, I took things up a notch. I retrieved a dildo and lubed it up in front of him.

I stood to the side to try to get out of the line of fire (the best I could as the room isn’t wide enough) and I took my fingers and I twisted his nipples. I ordered him to continue to hump away, the bands and the dido once again doing their work, and I told him to concentrate on my voice. The extra stimulation of me playing with his nipples was more than he could handle. His penis was throbbing up and down with every beat of his heart. I ordered him to hump faster and I gave his nipples a firmer pinch. He was ready and so was I. I gave him the command, “DO IT, JAMES! DO IT NOW!”

And with that, he shot his load way up in the air and across the room, most of it landing on the rubber floor but some of it splashing on me. As he climaxed, I took my hand and began to slap his balls real fast. He winced in pain but he shot more, in long spurts. I squeezed and twisted his balls and even more came out of him, some covering my hand. I placed my hand to his mouth and ordered him to lick it clean of his disgusting spunk while I slapped his cock with my other hand until he was done squirting. And it was disgusting, two months worth of buildup all over the confinement room floor and some on my sweaty skin. I carefully stepped around it all, removed the resistance bands and unlocked his wrist and ankle cuffs from the wall. I stepped to the back of the confinement room and ordered James to get down on all fours.

I commanded him to lick his sticky mess off of my body. I was also covered in my own sweat so I was in need of a human washcloth. He was actually kneeling in his own spunk as I directed his mouth to my arms, my stomach, my thighs, my legs and my feet. He licked me totally clean with a tongue bath. I even allowed him to clean off my leather thong with his tongue.

At one point, as he was licking my left foot, I took my right foot and pressed his head down to the rubber floor and commanded him to lick up all the mess he had made, even that which was on the rubber floor. He hesitated and I knew the idea was repulsive to him. I repeated my command, “You heard me, lick it up. You made this mess, so you must clean it up. Lick it all up and do it NOW!” He loves it when I talk to him like that. I enjoyed watching my hubby humiliating himself for my entertainment.

I asked him if the two months of denial were worth it for this special moment. He nodded that they were so I let him stay there as long as he wanted. He kissed the inside of my thighs and gently kissed and licked my pussy. It took me awhile (I prefer harder and faster licking but I allowed him to go at his pace on this night). Finally I climaxed and then about ten minutes later, I came again. He kept licking as I dozed off. He fell asleep between my thighs. When I awoke I tapped him on the shoulders and sent him to his bedroom.

This morning I gave him another special treat. I allowed him to masturbate in front of me one final time before I locked him back in chastity. I was totally clothed in bum around shorts and shirt, nothing sexy or fetish. I had him kneel naked before me and I looked him in the eyes as he stroked it for me. He once again came on my command, this time into a hand towel I was holding. I wanted to make sure his plumbing was all cleaned out before he went back into chastity. If all goes well, it will be 9 weeks, September 8, before he gets to have another one.

I needed a day trip so yesterday James and I drove to see my friend Ginger. She has been dying for us to visit so she could show off her hubby, who is now pierced and wearing a permanent chastity device.

Over the holidays, she got her hubby pierced and a few weeks later he was installed with a custom made stainless steel chastity device. The device is secured by a lock that works in accordance with his Prince Albert piercing. This particular device makes it impossible to achieve an erection. We were not at Ginger’s place 30 minutes before she had her hubby pull down his panties and show us the device. Ginger is so proud of it as if it is some kind of a major milestone in their femdom marriage, and I guess it is. James was both curious and horrified at the prospect that one day I might require this out of him.

Ginger jumped in and explained that the device could be permanent if she were to ever install it with break-off screws that can be broken off and filed down. However, she sees no reason to go that way. What’s important is that he can’t masturbate or remove it under any circumstances unless she unlocks it. It cannot be manipulated or pulled off like other chastity devices because of the bar that goes through the head of his cock with the Prince Albert piercing. He’s only been in it for 3 weeks but Ginger plans to allow him to remove it once a month for a detailed cleaning, and if he’s a been a good boy, perhaps permitted to masturbate (every other month) before he is locked up again. Ginger is not a fan of prostate milkings, which is what she would have to do if they were to ever make the device totally permanent with break-off screws.

Ginger’s hubby served us lunch and while we enjoyed our dessert the boys went into another room to see if they could get the DL2000 to fit and work with the CB6000. I’m happy to say that they solved the problem. I made James put it on and I allowed Ginger to discipline James with the remote, for old-time’s sake. I think a person likes to know that their Christmas gift is being appreciated and used. So it was only right to allow Ginger to see her gift in action.

However, James got off easy compared to Ginger’s hubby. Ginger explained to me about their new arrangement, with her hubby kneeling beside her, hearing and acknowledging every word. Ginger’s lover Dante has gotten an apartment not too far from their house and he comes over 3 or 4 nights a week to have sex with Ginger. Not only that, but Ginger’s hubby not only has to clean Ginger’s house and cook her dinner and do her laundry, but he also has to clean Dante’s apartment once a week. He even took his car to the car wash and hand washed it one afternoon while Ginger and Dante were at home, having wild sex. Can you imagine that kind of humiliation? To do errands for your wife’s lover while he is making love to her, OMG!

James has been such a wonderful servant in 2013 and deserved to have at least one orgasm. I know he likes to be dominated and humiliated but I felt he deserved some physical pleasure. I wanted to give him a special treat.

I removed his CB3000 and told him to lie on the bed. I removed my bra and I rubbed my breasts over his body. James’ absolute favorite way to have an orgasm is against my breasts. Even before we ever got involved with femdom, when we had intercourse and regular sex, he would often request if he could climax against my soft breasts. So last night I gave him this special treat. I rubbed my breasts against his erection and I gave him permission to have a pleasurable orgasm. He came very quickly and in buckets. I wiped my breasts clean with a towel and then I asked him if he could have another one. So I trapped his cock against my breasts again and told him he had two minutes to try to have another one. He did.

I reminded him it was a special treat and not to expect it again anytime soon. I told him to reinstall the CB300 complete with the Dream Lover. I haven’t set his new denial goal yet but I am thinking he can skip having an orgasm next year.

Ginger feels her hubby has been properly trained by the device and she is ready to take things to a new level. She plans on getting her husband pierced the week between Christmas and New Years and will be installing a more permanent chastity device for long-term wear on him. Her hubby is off that week which will give him time to adjust to the new device before he has to go back to work.

He hasn’t had an orgasm since August 17^th and he is pretty much at his limit. I’ve been teasing him, calling him my little horn-dog as he is noticeably horny and very affectionate from the denial process. I know from experience that any kind of intense D&S play or sexual contact would be setting him up to fail, and I want him to reach my goal of Halloween before he is allowed to climax.

At this point I’m even afraid to allow him to give me a massage as any kind of touch might be too much for him to handle. Just the other day he confessed to having lots of sexual and bizarre dreams. That’s a sure sign that he is desperate for an orgasm. I’ve been trying my best to channel his sexual energy into serving me domestically, assigning him extra chores and housework. I allow him to wear a pair of my panties to give him a little extra thrill when he does the housework but I have to be very careful over these next 10 days.

I also like to think about denying hubby and how he is suffering to please his Mistress. I can’t explain it but knowing that my husband is locked in chastity and completely under my control always makes me very wet.

I’m a dominant women married to a submissive man with lots of BDSM toys at my disposal. I have accumulated over the years an assortment of leather clothing, boots, gloves, corsets, etc. I have whips, crops, canes, paddles, restraints, gags, blindfolds, enema equipment, harnesses, dildos, etc.

But on top of that, I have hubby in chastity with the goal of denying him for longer and longer periods. The two can be in conflict with each other.

Last night is a perfect example. James has been denied since July 6th and my goal was to keep him that way until September 8^th. I could tell he has been very aroused lately, and that’s a good thing as it keeps him focused on me and my needs. James gave me a wonderful full-body massage Thursday night and Friday evening I allowed him to bathe me and dress me before I went out on a night on the town with a girlfriend. James was straining inside his chastity device as his hands touched and fondled my body as he bathed and dressed me.

So last night I decided to have a session with him. I wore a pair of leather thigh-high boots and allowed James to perform boot worship. Then I gave him an over the lap spanking with my hairbrush and the wooden Spencer paddle.

James was leaking pre-cum from inside his CB6000 but he was also flinching and twisting in discomfort as his bottom had not yet fully recovered from the caning he endured last Saturday night. I took it rather easy on him but I paddled him hard enough so that he went totally limp.

Then I decided to take him with a strap-on. Big mistake! I should have known better but James rarely climaxes from strap-on play and he knows to inform me if he thinks he can’t hold back. I bent him over the massage table and made sure his caged cock was not rubbing against the table. I was feeling extra dominant by this time so after I did the latex glove warm-up and penetrated him with the dildo that was snuggly attached to my strap-on harness, I was a little animated and I was slamming him hard, fast and forceful.

I was just starting to really get into it when he warned me that he thought he might climax if I didn’t stop. I was having too much fun so I ordered him to hold back a little longer. Well, no dice. He climaxed which really pissed me off. I kept slamming him and I spanked his ass with my hands very hard at the same time to let him know my displeasure.

James was no good to me the rest of the night. Once he cums like that, he loses his passion. I ordered him to orally pleasure me but it was no good. He was going through the motions and I had lost my edge. He licked me for about five minutes and then I just pushed him away. As a punishment I locked him away in the confinement room for the rest of the night as I watched television all by myself.

He apologized today and begged for forgiveness. Of course I forgive him but I told him that I was going to have to rethink how we do some things. I might have to keep our weekly sessions to discipline and humiliation and eliminate the more intimate acts such as strap-on play. I suppose I could do strap-on in the early weeks of his denial but once he gets to the one month mark, I need to be more careful. Maybe allowing him to give me massages and bathe me is too much for him, yet if I take that away I am denying myself pleasure. Maybe it’s time for a better chastity device, something more permanent. Or maybe I need to break out the Kali’s teeth when he gives me massages and baths. I’m just thinking out loud here.

Probably my favorite session was last month when I took a roll of blue medical adhesive bandage tape and wrapped his penis and the base of his balls tightly with it, leaving only the mushroom head of his penis uncovered. I made him take a Viagra an hour prior to this session so he had a stiff erection. Then I worked a large condom over his penis and the bandage. I tied him to my bed and I used him as my sex toy for an hour to 90 minutes straight. Due to the bandage tape and condom, James could fell no pleasure. In fact, it actually was a bit painful for him as I rode his penis. I kept rotating back and forth, riding his cock for a while and then sitting on his face and having him lick me. Back and forth I went from his cock to his face. I had multiple orgasms while he was feeling no pleasure at all.

He had been denied for about a month and since he took a Viagra, which he rarely does, I decided to take pity on him but it would have to be a ruined orgasm. So I tied him face up on the massage table, I carefully removed the condom and took our Hitachi double head vibrator and ran it against his very full and swollen balls and the exposed head of his cock which was a nice shade of purple. I rotated back and forth between the tip of the head and his balls until his cock pulsated wildly. I immediately removed the vibrator and he came, shooting his load way up in the air and all over his chest and stomach. His facial expression and the sounds he was making told me it was a most painful and frustrating orgasm. He begged me to touch him, to bring him to a more complete orgasm, but of course I denied his request. I then cut the bandage off his erection. It was quite intense for him as I un-wrapped his penis, his skin sticking to the adhesive tape. Then it was off to a cold shower so he would lose his erection in order to reinstall his chastity device. When using Viagra, it made for a most agonizing next morning as he awoke with an erection that was rebuffed by the chastity cage.

It’s finally March (Spring can’t come soon enough) and yesterday marked two months since James had his last orgasm.

I then fetched the key to his CB6000 and unlocked him and eased the device off of him, along with the DL 2000. His denied penis sprang to attention. I got my Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator and began a tease and deny session, turning the Wand on low and running it against his balls, along the side of his penis and over the head. I was careful to only stimulate him for a few seconds at time, turning the Wand on and off, on and off, on and off, just a few seconds at a time, as I traced the edges of the head of his cock, along the outside of his shaft and pressed the Wand against his swollen balls.

“Don’t you dare cum until I give you permission.”

I kept up the teasing for a good ten to fifteen minutes and James was literally whimpering. He was right on the edge. I took my turkey baster and filled it with warm, bordering on hot water. I began to drip the water onto the sweep spot on the underside of his penis. A few drops, then I stopped, a few more drops, then I stopped again. James’ body began to convulse as he tried his best to hold back. His cock was literally pulsating with each beat of his heart. I decide to add some more stimulation, not physical, but mental. I began to humiliate him in a teasing manner.

“Derik called me the other night. He can’t make it for St. Patrick’s Day weekend but he wants me to meet him in Vegas the week of April 7^th. And he wants to take me on a cruise the week of May 12^th. Is that okay by you?”

James continued to twitch as I continued to drip the water on his penis. I got the Magic Wand and turned it on low and pressed it against his balls.

“So you will be home all alone for two weeks this Spring. I’ll be sure to leave you a long list of chores to do while another man is romancing your wife in Vegas and on a cruise. What do you think about that?”

James’s body began to quiver so I turned off the Wand and I stopped dripping the water. James couldn’t hold back. He shot his load in spurts and from his reaction, it was not pleasurable. He moaned and his body trembled as he shot his load way up in the air in several intervals, most of it landing on the Saran Wrap that covered his chest but some of it landed all the way up on his neck and face.

“Did I give you permission to cum?” I took my hand and gave his balls a firm slap.

James apologized but then he said, “Please … it’s on fire”.

“Please? Please what?”

James said his cock was burning. I knew what he really wanted but he knew better than to ask. He wanted me to stroke him to another orgasm to relieve his discomfort.

“Sorry, you came without permission. You’ll have to suffer.”

I went and got an ice pack and placed it on his still erect cock. When it went limp, I reinstalled the CB6000, but without the DL2000, and locked him back up. I cut him free from the Saran Wrap and told him to go take a cold shower to further ease his discomfort. I have to admit, I really enjoyed ruining his orgasm. It was actually funny, seeing his body twisting and that pained looked on his face as he tried to hold back but was unable as he shot his load in spurts.

About an hour later, I told him to take me out to dinner. We were out for several hours between dinner and a brief stop at the mall. When we got home, James did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen while sat back and relaxed.

One area that a Domme has to be very careful about is keeping all D&S play and femdom lifestyle interactions with her subby properly grounded. This isn’t always easy, especially if your sub encourages you to be cruel. For him it is all a part of his fantasy, it is some kind of dark hidden desire within him that wants to be treated harshly by a woman. I don’t mind playing the “Cruel Bitch” from time to time but the key word there is “playing”. That’s not who I am as a person, although a part of me enjoys being a little sadistic with my hubby occasionally. But I am not by nature an abusive person. I love my husband and even when I treat him harshly, I mostly do it for him. It satisfies some unusual need. It brings him pleasure in a perverse way. I’d be lying if I said I understood it all. I do not but that is who he is and what he needs to achieve sexual arousal. And the flip side to this is it provides the woman numerous benefits and perks. It can be a wonderfully satisfying lifestyle for all involved but there must be give and take.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I look at my marriage. I have lots of vanilla friends and family members who have rotten marriages and relationships. Some have ended in divorce and others are headed there. These women call me up and tell me of their problems and how lucky I am to have such a good marriage. If only they knew the half of it. After all, I not only have a husband who worships and adores me but he does the majority of the household chores, he submits to me making the decisions, he surrenders his paychecks to me, and he allows me to see other men socially, including having sexual relations with them if I so choose. It really is almost too good to be true.

I’ve met women in this lifestyle who were very abusive to their husbands. It’s not for me to judge because I am sure the husband probably encouraged his wife to be that way but over time the D&S play more or less ceased and it became an abusive lifestyle. I witnessed women treating their hubbies very harshly, slapping them around, kicking them, locking them up in small cramp spaces when they were not needed, and cuckolding them without including them in on the fun. I question whether these women had any feelings at all for their husbands. Perhaps at one time they did but the love seemed to wax cold and all that was left is pure contempt. This one couple we met I could tell the wife disdained her husband. And it wasn’t some public humiliation scene they were engaged in that I misread. It is how their marriage evolved. She talked to him like he was dirt. She had stripped him all of human dignity and he basically existed to make her money and clean her house. If that’s what he wanted, more power to them, but it’s uncomfortable to watch.

He was feminized but she didn’t even bother to make that fun for him. She never dressed him up. He had to do that on his own. The poor guy was trying to make his lot in life exciting, dressing like her maid, wearing a self-installed chastity device, calling his wife names of endearment like “Princess” and “Goddess”. He thought he was being a good submissive, and he was, he was an excellent submissive. However, the poor guy was abused and he had the unhealthy looking whip marks and cigarette burns on his skin to prove it. But more than the physical abuse, he was carrying around the emotional scars. He wasn’t even allowed to look at his wife in the face. She forbade him to even look upon her … ever. If she caught him, she would slap him hard across his face. He always had his head downward and he didn’t look happy. Yet he was the one who contacted us. They wanted to meet other couples so she could show others how she had emasculated and degraded her husband. She thought they had a great femdom marriage. She didn’t like me at all because I refused to treat James that way. She said I was too nice to be a Domme.

Take the other night for example. I had placed James in the confinement room, bound and all alone in the dark, being punished for neglecting something I had asked him to do for me. He had an excuse but I wanted to teach him (and that is the purpose of punishment, to teach a man) that when life throws up a barrier, the dedicated submissive will still find a way. He will seek to please his Mistress even if the task proves to be difficult. I felt James gave up too easily on the task.

Therefore, he was being punished. After his confinement for several hours in restrictive bondage in an uncomfortable position, I released him and took him to my bedroom. There I administered 90 strikes of corporal punishment with my cane collection, 10 each from each cane, 2 wooden canes and 7 Delrin canes.

When I was done, James’ buttocks were bright red and striped and he was most repentant. Was I being abusive? Perhaps, if you didn’t understand the dynamics of our marriage you would probably come to that conclusion. But I didn’t stop there. I could have put him back in the confinement room for the rest of the night for him to dwell further on his punishment. Instead, I allowed James to worship my body.

When I administered his corporal punishment I was wearing only a silk bathrobe, nothing underneath. I dressed like this because I knew punishing him would more than likely get me aroused (yes, I have come to enjoy dominating my hubby almost as much as he enjoys being dominated, a wonderful byproduct of this lifestyle). After his punishment, I soothed his sore bottom with cool aloe then I had him kneel before me. I disrobed and took his head and placed it against my wet pussy. I sat on the edge of the bed, reclined back on my elbows and allowed him to worship me to orgasm. I could tell James was very excited. I could tell James was in that special place, a place he goes after he has been dominated or humiliated. It is a place where he is at peace and all is right with his world. How could I ever deny him this place? How could I not take him there?

Yes, it is a fine line between domination and abuse. And I would be lying if I said I always stayed on the proper side of that line. I try but there have been times when I have crossed that line but I have recognized it and was quick to get things back in balance. I can play rough at times and he likes that, he needs that, but what matters most is the heart. My heart is in the right place and as long as there is love, a.k.a. loving female authority, I am free to explore the deep, dark caverns of his submissive heart. I am still learning of him, and learning about me. There is a spiritual component to this lifestyle that I do not understand but when we experience it, like the other night, it transcends sex.

Once we got back to her place, Ginger had her hubby change into his maid’s outfit. He waited on us, fetching us drinks. Ginger had a glass of white wine. I had a beer at Gordon Biersch so I just had ice water at Ginger’s.

After we socialized a little, Ginger decided to give James a real thrill. She changed into her custom-made leather catsuit. I was there the day she was measured for it when we were in Vegas last June but yesterday was the first I saw her in it. Wow, did she look hot! The catsuit is black with red laces on the sides from her ankle to her underarms, and more laces on the arms. She wore a pair of red high heel shoes to complete the outfit. James’ tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth. Ginger sat back down on the couch and had her hubby kneel with his head to the floor so she could use him as her footstool.

It was now time for the fun to begin. I grabbed my purse and produced the key to James’ CB6000. I had him undress and then I unlocked his chastity device. Surprisingly his erection was soft, which told me he was embarrassed and nervous being naked in front of Ginger. But once I caressed his skin with my hand and told him to stare at Ginger in her sexy catsuit, his erection sprang to attention.

I did a little verbal teasing, asking him how long it had been since he last climaxed. Then picking up on what I was doing, Ginger started to ask me about Derik and my time with him in Pittsburgh. Ginger teased James about what a hunk Derik is, as she met him when we were in Vegas in September. Then we began to tease both husbands about being cuckolds.

About this time I reached into my purse again and pulled out a dildo and a small tube of KY Jelly. I lubed up the dildo and I slowly inserted it into James’ anus. I then told him that I wanted him to ‘cum’ for me without any stimulation to his cock. I teased that he wasn’t worthy to have me touch his genitals.

I began to fuck him, holding the dildo in my hand, sliding it in and out. James was completely humiliated and totally embarrassed. Ginger added to his humiliation, making all kinds of comments, saying naughty things such as “You heard her, Bitch, cum for us!” and “Show us what a slut you are!”

James was dripping pre-cum so Ginger fetched a condom and put it on him. James got really excited as she touched his cock briefly by rolling the condom over it. He was on the edge but struggled to orgasm with no physical touching of his penis. Ginger twisted his nipples as I continued to hand fuck him with the dildo. I admonished him, “Come on James, DO IT, my arm is getting tired. DO IT else I’m putting you back in chastity.”

Ginger chimed in, “You heard your Mistress.DO IT BITCH!”

And with that James’ body convulsed and he shot his load into the condom.

“Good boy!” I commented as I withdrew the dildo.

Ginger held up a small plastic garbage can and James had to roll off the condom and dispose of it in the trash. Ginger drove the point home by saying, “That’s what your wife thinks of your orgasms, Bitch. They belong in the garbage along with other unnecessary and useless things”.

Ginger likes to call her hubby her Bitch, so she uses that word a lot. James seemed to respond to being called ‘Bitch’ so perhaps I’ll start calling him that when I dominate him.

After he dropped the condom into the garbage, James then knelt down and became my footstool as Ginger and I chatted a little more, totally ignoring our husbands. We even talked about possibly double dating over the Holidays, Ginger with her lover Dante, and me with my new lover Derik. That had to be extra humiliating to our husbands, hearing their wives making plans about going on dates with other men.

We stayed until around 10:00 before finally heading home. Although he was embarrassed and humiliated I think James had a great time and was most appreciative of my efforts to make his orgasm special.

This morning, I allowed him to masturbate once more, kneeling in front of me, climaxing into a hand towel. I wanted to make sure he was totally cleaned out before locking him back in chastity. Our next denial goal is 11 weeks. That means hubby will be denied until January 3. Maybe I’ll make it New Year’s Day. That would be 10 weeks and 5 days, which would be a new record for us.

Now comes the hard part. James experiences a letdown that lasts for days after he is allowed an orgasm. He has a lot of leafs to rake today. As long as he tends to his chores I’ll give him his space as his sexual batteries begin the process of recharging.

Marriage of a limited sort still exists. The highest status a male can have is husband. His primary purpose is to provide material for breeding. While a groom, the male is milked, his sperm frozen for future use. The wedding day begins his life of perpetual 24/7 male chastity. At the end of the ceremony, his permanent chastity device is locked in place.

The husband is primary homemaker. Cooking, cleaning, laundering are among the basics of his day. His Wife will use his tongue for her pleasure. Within the bedroom, husbands are often shown affection never displayed in public.

As the groom’s chastity device locked in place, his wife receives the paddle symbolizing her authority. When necessary women spank and beat men. This is an inalienable legal right.

The paddle placed above the woman’s bed and regarded as a sentimental token. Few wives use it to punish husbands. Caning is the most common form of domestic discipline. Some women prefer belts or whips.

Husband’s lives are circumscribed. Unfailingly humble and diligent service is their lot. Recognizing their inherent inferiority men feel honored to serve their natural superiors.

To make matters worse, just as I was getting frustrated, my girlfriend arrived. James showed her in and offered her a drink. She declined and waited in the living room as James rejoined me in the bedroom. I’m sure she could hear how I was talking to my husband in a not so flattering tone of voice, but I didn’t care. I was being a bit of a bitch, I can admit it now, but I was hot and frustrated and the dress was sticking to my skin and those stupid straps were not right and my husband was not being as helpful as I would have liked. It is times like this that I wish I had a real sissy maid, a man who is an expert at dressing and assisting a woman. James does his best but he is not a natural. He’s too masculine.

So by now I am running late and I am not in the best of moods. James suggested I change dresses but that just made me angrier. I wanted to wear my new dress and I was determined. Finally, I said “screw it, who cares if my bra straps are showing and my boobs are hanging out too much? I’m still wearing it.”

Then James goes and lights the fuse. He asks me “what time will you be home?” Now in hindsight, he said this innocently but given the mood I was in, I took it the wrong way. So without using judgment or proper discretion, right in front of my girlfriend, I began to verbally humiliate James. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was along the lines of,

“What difference does it make what time I get home? I’ll be home when I get home. And if I decide to get drunk and flirt with other men, that’s my fucking business. Yes, James, your wife is going out in this sexy dress and I’m sure men will be gawking at my tits. So what? And if I decide to stay out all night, you’re perfectly okay with that, aren’t you?”

James’ eyes got real big and he looked at Amanda and he looked back at me and his face was soooo red. He was deeply embarrassed. But I didn’t care.

“Answer me, James. Are you okay if I want to stay out all night? And if I meet someone I’m attracted to and decide to spent the night with him, you’re okay with that, aren’t you?”

James looked down at the floor but then he looked at me and he consented to what I had just said. I could tell that he was now aroused. His embarrassment was giving way to submission. He wanted more humiliation, I could feel it, but I knew I had already gone too far in front of my friend.

For her part, my girlfriend must have felt sorry for James because she invited him to join us for dinner. That opened the door for me to humiliate James one more time. I spoke up and answered for him.

“He can’t come with us. He has chores to do. James, I want you to clean up the kitchen and do the laundry in the blue hamper in my bedroom. Is that clear?”

James had slipped into submission. He nodded and his face was no longer red. He was excited and he wanted to be dominated. He liked being humiliated in front of my friend, it was obvious. It was kind of cute and pathetic at the same time.

As for James, well hubby was waiting up for me and he was a good boy. He had cleaned the kitchen and done not only the laundry in the blue hamper but also in the other hamper. He had washed, dried and folded my clothes. He greeted me at the door, bowed before me and apologized for upsetting me. I sat down on the couch and I told him to worship my body, beginning by kissing my feet. I told him about the men I flirted with and danced with (embellishing things a little) and how I loved humiliating him in front of Amanda. James was very excited and he worked his way up my body, kissing me all over. Finally I allowed him to remove my dress and we retired to the bedroom. He performed total body worship and licked me to several orgasms. Of course he was denied.

Like I said in a post last month, it is a fine line between domination and abuse. But I agree that it is nice to have a submissive man around the house to direct my frustrations at, whether he always deserves it or not.